Why I've been away from the site

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

25 Aug 2010

Wednesday, 25th August 2010

Logging onto macmillan tonight made me realise I've been away for quite a long time and I wanted to try to explain to all my friends my reasons.

It may seem odd to you all, especially when we had such marvellous news after John's half way scan that his tumour had virtually disappeared, and I can't really explain it myself.

John is still undergoing chemotherapy treatment but there is only one more session to go. However, the side effects have increased in severity and he is virtually housebound for most of the time now. As a consequence he has become more and more touchy and takes it out on me which is having a bad effect on my mental state. I feel guilty about leaving him for any period of time so I am stuck at home too.

I've virtually given up on my hobbies and my friends and only get out of the house when i take my little dog for a walk.

I think I've been suffering a mild form of depression and its only recently that I've started to feel better.

I feel guilty about staying away because I know we've been much luckier than many other people on this site. Perhaps that's a reason too - feeling guilty about the good results.

Any way, I'm going to make an effort to come back and try to be of some support to all the wonderful people on this site.

I hope you'll forgive me.

FormerMember over 14 years ago

dear madge

no need to apologise - you and john have been and are going through so much, there is bound to be some emotional fallback. we are all here to talk to you, listen to you, and to help you onwards as best we can.

a huge, and heartfelt, warm welcome back from me.

lots of love, Claire xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

hey madge....

well... i just want to say, we are here for you anytime you want a chat.. please please dont feel like you shouldnt come on here, because of how youve been feeling, as we are all here to support one another, no matter what....

im so glad your back on....

missed ya!!!

(((big hugs)))

love emma xxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Madge nice to have you back we've missed you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about having good news.

I have been one of the lucky ones too. I have stuck around to help others and those who helped me.

Its sounds like you still need your old friends here on Mac so I am glad that you decided to come back.

I hope that you will start to feel better soon.

Your John should start to feel better once his treatment is finished then you both can start to live your lives again.

Good Luck and Take care, don't stay away anymore.

Love Julie X
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Madge, don't you dare feel guilty! You and John have been on a rollercoaster ride and it hasn't stopped yet to allow you to get off! I must admit after we got the good news about my mum I plunged to my lowest point for some reason. My mum was very down because she continued to feel worse due to her ongoing treatment which didn't seem to make sense. You know the sort of thing 'the cancer's gone so why do I feel more ill than when I started?' If you need a chat you get in here and chat to us! I, for one, have missed you and was so pleased to see you tonight! Take care of yourself, hope to see you soon. Caroline XX
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Madge,

Time to stop feeling guilty. No need for it you have nothing to feel guilty about . If you call looking after your husband,caring for him and giving him support

taking all the the Side effects that hes going through. I think there would be a lot of people on the site feeling a bit depressed. But Guilty NO. so take your wee dog for longer walks and give yourself more me time. I think you will start to feel a bit better. If the depression gets worse go and see your G.P. All the best and Good Luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx
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