Monday 6th June, 2011
John got up this morning but was back in bed after only half an hour because of the retching and pain. Had trouble getting his tablets down but did manage in the end. I hate to see him like this.
I cancelled his doctor's appointment for tomorrow to check his blood pressure and requested that a district nurse come out instead. The receptionist was very offhand but promised to get a nurse to contact me - still waiting. I actually think that his blood pressure is the least of his problems so not too bothered about that.
Then I phoned the Mac Helpline to ask how long they thought it would be before we were contacted by our local MacMillan. Again no joy. He told me it could take up to TWO WEEKS before somebody contacts us because they're so busy. So, where do we go from here?
I'm dreading Thursday when we go to the hospital for the results of the scan but I'm determined to get him there even though he might be retching in the waiting room - the other patients will have to put up with it! He carries a bowl with him everywhere now.
Very scared about the future. I don't want him to go into hospital. I want to look after him at home but how can I do it without any support?
I'm seething with anger and yet the tears are welling up but I daren't start blubbing because it would upset John. As my lovely nan would have said, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER BUGGER!!!!!
