As some of you know, John is in the MacMillan Unit receiving palliative care to get his pain and sickness symptoms under care. He's been in for over a week now but will hopefully be coming out on Monday.
As if this isn't bad enough, I am having problems with his family. We aren't married, although we have been together for a long time and own property together. We also have Wills and Powers of Attorney in place.
I tell you this because his oldest daughter is questioning my right to be named as next of kin. She thinks John'son should be named as his next of kin even though he hadn't visited in more than a year until John was in Bournemouth Hospital recently. When he did come, he stormed out because his youngest daughter burst into tears when her dad was so ill. He called her a drama queen and we haven't seen him since.
The oldest daughter also keeps banging on about what his last wishes are and when his youngest daughter told her that he wants a woodland burial, she poo pooed that idea. She thinks the Roman Catholic priest at the church she attends should come to visit him. John is no longer a practising Roman Catholic, nor does he have any particular beliefs. He has made it clear that he wants the woodland burial and that he wants us to be interred together.
His youngest daughter has been an absolute star during the past couple of months. She has asked for, and been granted, indefinite compassionate leave from work and comes to see him every day, bringing food and helping out every way she can. His oldest daughter on the other hand has hardly been near him.
I can't bear all this squabbling. It's really getting me down trying to keep the peace and keep it from reaching John's ears. He's so ill and so upset about not seeing his son too.
I and his youngest daughter have both tried texting his son to plead with him to visit but have not received a reply. What more can we do?
Hope all this makes sense as I am so tired (again). Would welcome your opinions and usual words of wisdom though.
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007