Everything seems so hopeless

2 minute read time.

It's nearly midnight and I should be tucked up in bed but my head's all over the place.  I'm not even sure what I'm going to write because there's been so much going on over the past few days.

First off, John sorted out his Will which has put his mind at rest somewhat.  We've ordered a hospital bed and expect it to be installed at some point next week.  I really hope it sorts out the pain he gets first thing in the morning as it's breaking my heart to watch him struggle when he first gets up.

We also had a visit from the social services regarding a stairlift.  Turns out that, even if we were approved for a grant, it would take up to four weeks to be installed.  So I arranged for two quotes for reconditioned lifts but now John says he doesn't want one.  I'm beginning to have my doubts too because he really is so weak and tired most of the time.  The district nurse told me gently that she didn't think he would be up to it either.  So it seems my dreams of getting him out of the flat are all pie in the sky. 

Then we've had his blooming family making trouble.  His youngest daughter has been wonderfully supportive and visits almost every day for long periods.  His younger daughter suddenly announced that she would be visiting with her brother the next day after hardly contacting him since he left MacMillan.  What time did they turn up?  Seven o-blooming-clock in the evening when he's due assistance from the nurse to get to bed and is well past wanting visitors.  But then they wouldn't know, would they? 

I had a go at her and his son started shouting his mouth off and upsetting John so I just told them to visit quietly while I kept out of the way.  Luckily they didn't stay long but left John all of a tizzy and very upset.

They visited again today when I'd told them quite plainly that my sister and brother-in-law were coming and I didn't want too many visitors in one go.  Consequently he was worn out and ended up in a lot of pain tonight so that we had to call the twilight shift out to give him an injection. 

Sorry if this is all a bit of a muddle but I've just about had it up to here!!!!!!!!!  Even little Gemma's a nervous wreck. 

Wonder what next week will bring?

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Oh Madge I wish I could make it better for you. I think shaz said everything I would have said so not to bore you to tears again (saving that for my blogs) just sending you the biggest squeeziest hug ever and lots of streength to face the day

    Little My ((((((((((((((((madge))))))))))))) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge, so sorry to hear you all had a tough weekend, familys (say no more), my mum and dad lived in a flat and it was impossible to get mum out so we used to lay on the bed and go where ever the mood took us, mostly to places we had been and those chats mean so much to me now,can remember mum insisting she had her sun hat on when we were in Tenerife as the sun was so hot, so funny in bed with ice cream and sun hat, you can go anywhere with mind travel, Take care xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Madge

    Just sending you and John Love and hugs

    Sorry to hear your having rough time with family doesnt make it any easier for you

    If you can just sit down and close your eyes for a few mins  if your head  when  your whizzing

    I hope John will be a bit more comfortable when he gets the hosp my v was they got her a air mattress  too

    Love to you Both

    love Janice xxx

  • Dear Madge,

    I'm in a similar boat to you, just not quite so far up the creek.  It's so hard and people just don't realise what it is like.  I really hope "people" never find out.    I hope today is better for  you and John.

    Thinking of you both

    Love

    Ann xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I knew you'd all understand because other people just don't 'get it', do they?  The strain of it all was really getting to me last night but I feel slightly better today.  

    John slept all night but woke to horrendous pain again.  The district nurse phoned (doesn't visit very often now) and suggested upping his slow release Oxycontin so we'll try that tonight (fingers crossed).

    I won't let those b********s get me down and with your help I will stay positive.

    Thank you all so much.

    Love and *hugs*, Madge x x x x x