Is there anyone logged on that is the wife or husband of cancer patient and needs to talk ?
FormerMember
I may be on the wrong bit here, sorry.
My husband Andrew was very fit and healthy, still is as regards heart, blood pressure etc. It makes it so much more of a shock and makes you realise it can happen to anyone.
We were told that there is no cure and all the treatments will be to keep him as long as possible.
This morning he was so full of energy, better than any of us but he is tired and grumpy again now.
Have you heard what is happening with your husband yet, he looks a lovely chap on the photo. Isn't he having the liver op? Andrew is going about his first chemo after his bowel op next Tuesday.
the baby is our grandson he was a gift of joy for us in May before we knew about barry. Barry has had op for removal of tumour in bowel but they couldnt get it all out, also it has spread to his nymph nodes and stomach not to his liver. We were also told no cure just chemo to give time and quality of life. Barry was a really superfit man (West Midlands weightlifting champion in the early 60s) and has always ate properly, excercised doesnt smoke only drank to be sociable so it was such a shock for him to be given thisnews. He is not really grumpy but is very tired and has been in a lot of pain. He has cried quite a lot (never really seen him cry before) so maybe thats his escape valve. The doctor put him on prosaic as his nerves were completely shot and I think they may just be beginning to kick in (3 weeks on). I dont know how I am going to cope but I have got 2 lovely daughters who are like my best friends so I guess they will help. Barry has had his first chemo (not as bad as he was expecting) one or two side effects but not too bad.
I do hope Andrew is OK it sounds as if he hasnt really come to terms with the diagnosis (which isnt surprising ) it takes a while. You must be feeling awful as well its so hard to see someone you love trying to cope. Please let me know how Andrew gets on and get in touch any time it helps to share I think. regards Lynne
Sorry, Lynne, I get mixed up with these different threads. I have put on Anne's thread I think about Andrew having a leak in his line this week which was a bit traumatic, did you see that.
He is very tired and grumpy today. He has just told his cousin on the phone that he keeps telling me off when I haven't done anything so I think he is feeling guilty, although I don't want him to have to.
He can't be cured either, he will just keep having chemo or surgery to keep him going I think.
I am a stage 3 kidney cancer patient myself and am having an MRI on Friday because I have got a headache all the time. The oncologist thinks it is stress but has to check it isn't the cancer as they watch for it coming back all the time.
I have the added worry that my 81 year old mother in Norwich can not manage alone any longer and we have to move her here near us, Fortunately my daughter is helping a lot with this and there is a nice place down near the seafront which may take her.
No I didnt get the last message will look on Annes thread. You really are having a bad time its bad enough with one of you having cancer but two of you thats really awful no wonder youve got a headache all the time. Do you live near the sea? we are in Weston-Super-Mare but did live on the Isle of Wight for 23 years couldnt not live near the coast now. I think I told you Barry was on Prosac well it really seems to be working, he is now joking about his cancer and is accepting things really well, I keep waiting for the bubble to burst but at the moment have got my life back. Barrys chemo does not seem to be afffecting him too much seems to have all the side effects under control and is feeling really well. Our next major step is in February if his cancer has stayed the same or shrunk he will be given another 3 months but if not then I suppose that will be it dont know what happens in that case. Sorry to hear about your mum but glad you have your daughter (they are great arnt they). My grandsons name is Tate and we love him to bits.
I really hope you have a good xmas and hope that Andrew is able to get to a better place (think about prozac) ask your doctor.
