Spent twelve hours at Derriford Hospital yesterday - suspect first of many such sessions - but all went well - we have now had the laparotomy and ultrasound endoscopy - a couple of nodes taken too. He didnt go down till fairly late and was still on oxygen when he came back to the ward so they made the decision to keep him in overnight - much to his dismay.
I was doing ok - honest injun I was - when they came and took him down to theatre I was fine, no wobbling chin , no tears - but when they brought him back - oh dear off I went - a combination I think of being up since 5am, probably not eating enough and just seeing him looking so helpless. There is a dedicated MacMillan room at Derriford -with volunteers to speak with- I should have gone in and spoken to them and got some support - I thought about it but no more - foolish me. But on the plus side - he looked very well - not in too much pain - two litte cuts on his belly and a very sore throat but did manage some soup and mousse.
And so its time for me to go home - only about thirty miles - getting dark , rubbish weather. Now dear friends there is something you should know about me - I am I think a fairly capable woman,coped with some crap in my life, manage a GP surgery with all its attendant problems - but something that totally freaks me out - really really stresses me is driving to or from places I am unfamiliar with - ie Derriford - he always does the driving - I do the cooking - thats the deal ! But no choice in this I have to do it - so along with Geraldine - my trusted sat nav - off I go. Very slowly - tough luck people behind me ! but very surely I got myself home - all by myself - and will get myself down there again today - high five for Lyn !! (ridiculous the small things that bother us ??!)
Not nice being home alone - vast amount of emptiness within and around me - but he will be home today - and my lovely daughter coming down from London for a long weekend and we shall celebrate her 30th - so looking forward and upward.
Love and hugs to all
L xx
