Partner diagnosised with prostate cancer. He seems to be changing right before my eyes and becoming a total stranger. I have vowed to stand behind him through this no matter what. But not knowing how to help him emotionally with what he is going through much less myself.
FormerMember
Hi, I have just read your blog and felt compelled to reply. Like you, I am new to the site too, having only joined yesterday but only summonsed up the courage to enter a blog and nose around the site today. My friend and neighbour Miss Pepperpot (as I affectionately call her) has been diagnosed with cancer of the epiglottis, although completely different to your Partner's type, I can understand how you feel - I feel the same. Since entering my first blog on here this afternoon, (somewhat scared of doing so I must confess), I have had two replies. I can't thank them two people enough as they have given me information that I wouldn't have known without joining this site. I also found it really relieving to be able to blog how I feel about my dear friend and what she (and me) are going through. Like you, I am there 24/7 for my little Miss Pepperpot. She lives in the flat above me and though I can't do much for her (I am disabled myself), I am there at the end of the phone no matter what time day or night, I am also up and down the stairs to her many times during the day for what seems like the most minorest of things to me (taking her rubbish out, opening cans of baked beans, watching her swallow her medicine ensuring that she doesn't choke) - but they mean so much to her. The main thing for her though is that I am there to share her fears. I claim to her that I have big broad shoulders, but trust me when I get downstairs or put the phone down to her, I have a big cry on my boyfriend's and other friends shoulders. However now I have found this site, so here is where I am going to turn to when I need comfort and support. So please don't be afraid of this site! Take care of you and your partner. Regards, Tracey. x
Hi, welcome to the site, I can only echo previous comments, this site is wonderful for raising spirits, sharing concerns and advice and also having a laugh, so please keep loggin on. Have a look at chat, I made so many life long friends through chat, and it helped me through some dark days.
As far as your partner is concerned, just be there for him, he will go through a period of change, as he comes to terms with his diagnosis and then his treatment, just be there in any way he needs. You need to take comfort and support from those around you, don't be afraid to vent your feelings and anger, that's natural and you need to do it.
Good luck with your partners treatment and all the very best for the future.
Hi there, I hope that you find this site helpful, I certainly did. All you can do is give your husband all the love and support that you can during this dreadful time. It is not always easy to be supportive as you can feel that you are getting lost in hospital appointments and treatments. It is important to try to keep some normality in your life otherwise this thing can consume you. As for him changing before your eyes, he is probably struggling to deal with his diagnosis and what the possible outcome could be. Try to be honest and open with each other and at least then the two of you can deal with this together. You too will probably find that you change in some ways in order to cope which this new situation you find yourselves in. All the best in the future months. Tricia x x x p.s. why not come into Chat sometime x x
We got through it, with my own bowel cancer by my including him in the information. Both about my surgery then with my chemotherapy. He came to the consultation with me, so got the details also via the handouts (from Cancer Backup), and ferries me to appointments and picks me up afterwards. I stay calm because he is calm. He is calm because I am taking it in my stride.
I looked at the worst that could happen and had a cry about it. Oddly enough, it was the thought of dying and leaving him with a houseful of clutter to deal with. I was in my GP surgery at the time, so my GP got the benefit of my 2 minute panic. Then I looked at the statistics and knew I had the best surgeon in the British Isles to do a very neat keyhole job and woke up after the op feeling surprisingly well.
All these treatments are sure to have side effects, so expect at least 3, and there will probably be 2. Tests are just to see how the treatment is going, so don't worry about them until you get the bad news. There may not be any.
I did my worrying in 5 minute bursts, in broad daylight. It stopped me lying awake in the middle of the night.
Just make sure he rests a lot, drinks a lot of water and has as good a time as possible. Go on holiday in between times, and build up some good times to look back on when the treatment is hard going. Keep the rest of the family informed, and let them do the laundry for you, and the cooking sometimes. You need to rest as well, and don't catch flu if you can help it. You don't want to give him anything infectious while he is on chemo, if he has chemo. Operation scars hurt a lot when you sneeze!
Enjoy some fun time if you can. He is still the person you love, just going through a hard time.
