terminal cancer.....easy to forget?

Hi Liz

I'm not in denial at Laurences terminal prognosis, he looks good and is on no medication so its shoved on the back burner.  We are enjoying what time we have left and I have just asked to go part-time at work to enable us to have more time together.

Also when we go back to see the oncologist in January for his 3 monthly visit he is going to ask that he has no more scans or appointments and when he feels symptoms we can contact them.  Chemo does not have much effect on his tumour type and is very unlikely to work.  So while the sunshines we want to make hay so to speak.  

I don't think I ever really forget he's ill and no one will be able to stop the hurt and pain of when things start going down hill for me or the boys, but while he's like this we can pretend to forget and get on with making lots of good memory's that will help us get through the bad times ahead.

Hi Sis

I understand exactly what you are saying, as I have been with you every step of the way.  As your sister I want you to know that I will never forget you have terminal cancer.  

What I am doing is what you have asked me to do and try and be normal, some days it is so hard , my stomach churns as yours does every time we are going to see the doctor together, secretly keeping everything crossed to hear something good, relieved when we do but then dread the next visit.

Other days I find myself laughing and forgetting as we are enjoying spending time together, but knowing the photos we are taking are for those" special memories",

You want normal you got it, but don't ever think we have forgotton how ill you are, and for goodness sake stop worrying about how it is affecting us,just  enjoy living each day like it's you last and live it to the full, and I will be there every day to support you no matter what.

Now on a lighter note , no you are not getting your clothes back or your beautiful watch you gave me just becuase you passed your sell by date if you ask me nicely I might let you borrow them sometimes.

Love you sis now get on with enjoying your life, tomorrow is promised to no-one.

Jo Mac

thanks again everyone,the last thing on my bucket list is my 50th birthday in january..... so i am busy making a new one..... a longer one lol.... i always enjoy life and my family and friends are the best anyone could wish for...i should stop worrying about things that happen after my death.... i want to save them the pain and i cant....but we have and are still making lovely new memories... and will continue doing so

thanks again for all your comments

liz xx

ha ha joan just noticed you replied to this... we mustve been writing at the same time .... snap!....love you sis...

liz xx

Hi Liz - wondered where you had been !! Now I know- back to work how fanastic!! I think we must have both been given a terminal diagnosis within days of each other last year (14th Feb '08 for me - day before my birthday - not hard to forget !!) Anyway we both seem to be lucky enough to be responding to treatment and long may it last. i too have just got on with my life and although I am on chemo again now I did get from March to August completely off treatment this summer which was marvellous. My only regret is that i told the kids i was terminal - although we had agreed I would do it has taken its toll on my youngest (14) and if given my time again I would have waited until there was litttle hope left before telling them.

I think my friends all want me to go on forever and I hope I do too but we shall see what happens. Good luck with your happy life in remission Liz - I know you are enjoying life to the full which is the only way to go :o) Love Jools xxx