terminal cancer.....easy to forget?

2 minute read time.

FormerMember

30 Nov 2009

a brief history for those of you who dont know me... longer story on my profile...

dx breast cancer in june of 99....

happily oblivious that it had spread to my liver, and that tamoxifen had caused cancer in my uterus... told i had 3 to four months to live on st patricks day 2008, had 8 fec 100 finished in sept 08... scans show chemo shrunk tumours in liver and hysterectomy to remove uterus, no groth since i finished my chemo.

right now, my hair has grown to a decent length, my aches and pains have all but gone,i look well, and feel well, im sure people who dont know me think it was a storm in a teacup (ha ha)...

I personally sometimes wake up in the morning and for a brief time "forget" i am ill, i am even back at work (i own a hairdressing salon so i go in when i want) a few hours a week, clients at work rave about how good i look.. people i know are amazed how good i look....my family and friends cant believe how well i look and act.... my husband has come out of his long depression... and starting to act like i am going to live forever...my dx hit him like a train, as with the rest of my family and friends.....

my friends were over visiting me this week end and we had a fab girly weekend... at breakfast this morning happily chatting away, i mentioned my scan comming up on the 10th of this month.. .and my friends asked what happens after the scan and i told them hopefully they still havent grown so i dont have to have chemo again YET...... at that,one friend said , oh no... you have to have more chemo?... but they DID know that ! one of my friend then said "liz, sometimes i FORGET your ill...... which we all laughed at.... these are my best friends ... they have been to hell and back with me never faltering.

i love the fact that everyone around me "forgets" im ill.... i really do....my dilema is....

is it really a good thing???

i watched my loved ones fall to pieces when i was told..... it almost destroyed my hubby and my daughter.... made my sisters and brothers re assess their lives... my mum felt guilty cos she has survived and is now cancer free.....i believe most of them are kidding themselves that i will be ok.... this is not the case .... i am getting a lot longer than predicted and with the next chemo hopefully a lot longer , and i am the most optomistic person in the world.....

but i cant bear the idea of the whole shock thing again the hurt and pain in their eyes is forever in my memory.... i dont want to watch their eyes again.... it was worse than being told.....

so, your the only people i can ask..... is it a good thing to "forget" or face it every day.....

i vote for "forget" ha ha ha.... but i dont want to feel like going back to square one.....

can i have your opinion guys???

thanks liz xxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Perhaps they are just in denial Liz who knows. Whatever their reason for "forgetting" is maybe to shield themselves from the inevitable. You don't want to go around reminding everyone but at the same time they all know what the prognosis is for you and if it comes as a shock to them if you do need more chemo then you can't take the blame for that as you have been as honest and open about it all from the start.

Anyway hope it does not come to needing more chemo for ever such a long time. I am a carer for my husband and feel as though we are living on borrowed time. Like you if we are able to get out (and that is not very often) we are astounded at the people who tell him he looks great. (he looks awful) but then sometimes I think people just don't know or want to talk about it at all in the hope that if they don't it will just go away.

Take care

Love Teri
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Liz, u feel good dont ya ? and u have proved that the doctors dont know every thing, I suggest you just enjoy your life whilst u still can and face the other things when u have to ! Im terminal too, but its great to feel alive and want to live life to the full, Dont let the cancer take anything away from you that u can ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY xxxxx Keep smiling !
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
johnr over 14 years ago

Forget it gets my vote

its easy sometimes to forget things when with friends even though it may have been mentioned previously. For me it shows they are all relaxed, acting normal and anythought of illness is tucked well away, needing a reminding prod. So why prod, it only hurts.

long may they forget I say

john
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Liz i think as long as you feel ok with the 'forget' then go with it, you have to go with what works for you, it may not work for everyone, but you arent everyone. I wish you luck and blessings, you sound a positive person with good friends and family...

wendy xxx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Liz

I have cancer in my liver as a result of ocular melanoma. I forgot about it for a long time, did loads of travelling and other things that I'd always wanted to do.

However, now that I've started to physically deterioriate (17 months after the spread to the liver was diagnosed) my family and I have no choice but to face up to it, even though it's emotionally very difficult. It's good to be able to get your affairs in order and to discuss things like the funeral, as this will save your family a lot of worry in the end.

I suppose a difficult thing for you will be to decide when to start doing this, especially as, fortunately, you feel so well at the moment.

Hope this helps.
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel