3rd week in hospital....

So it is now my Wife's third week in hospital recovering from her operation. I am sitting by her bed waiting for her to come up from having her Port-A-Cath inserted. She is still in some pain and her Bowel still is not working. I haven't seen her today as between work and everything else it is difficult to be here all of the time. If I had a choice I would move in. I miss her terribly. That's the thing you notice most, is the loneliness. Silence becomes deafening and you find yourself talking to your "imaginary" wife. It is the little things you miss, like sitting down to watch your favourite drama together or having meals together. Last week I forgot to eat altogether one day. You see that's the problem, you forget to look after yourself. That is also very important because if you get ill how are you going to be there for the one you care for. My work understand, or at least I think they do. I'll soon know when I go for a promotion. It is only a few weeks to Christmas and I fear she will be in hospital again. Remember my wife had suffered from another cruel disease called CF. Before her Transplant she had spent the previous two Christmas and New Years in hospital with viruses. She also had major surgery in the form of a double lung transplant. So you can imagine how difficult it can be to recover from an operation like that. Not all patients do. There is a school of thought that says her cancer may be caused by the immune suppressants she takes, but like I have said to her she would not be here today if she hadn't received the lungs. It was that bad. This is why I called this blog Life can be Cruel, because it can. Not only has she suffered all her life with Cystic Fibrosis and recovered from a double lung transplant she now has to deal with inoperable cancer and all that goes with it. But I hope you can take heart from my wife's determination and strength. She will deal with this the best way she knows and that is to fight to her last breath.