Today reading the posts on the community board, someone said how they can't take it in that they have cancer and it made me think that with everything I'm going through, I will not think of myself as a cancer patient.
I don't think I have truely accepted that the lump I have is cancer, its just a thing in my body that will be gone soon. I'm coming up for my 3rd chemo and final tax before starting 3 cycles on fec and I'm just embracing what it throws at me. Not sure if this is just accepting what is happening or denial in some way but its the best I can do.
Last oncology appointment the tumour had shrunk so I'm hoping that this appointment will show that it has shrunk some more. I hate going to chemo same as everyone else but what I hate most is the steroids. Each cycle the steroids seem to make me worse, they play havoc with my stomach so much that my lungs are crushed and I can't sleep as air is pushed up into my throat. I also feel like I have flu but I know that 7 days after chemo it all settles and I begin to feel better again. My hair hasn't totally fallen out yet which I was sure would be gone by now but a little part of me hopes it will stay but can't see that happening. I'm getting use to wearing my hat and even people I know who doesn't know about my diagnosis, haven't said a thing to me about it. Whether they think I'm just trying out a new style who knows but I'm happy not to have to keep explaining.
Well, Monday will soon be here and it will be blood tests and oncology appointment ready for Thursday, the only thing I will say is that I'm looking forward to seeing the other patients as I've met some great people so far
FormerMember
Hi there,
You seem to be doing the right thing, keeping strong. Not sure from your blog whether you have already had surgery or not. I think i'm a little further on in my journey than yourself.
I was diagnosed in February of this year, and started my chemo soon after, my lump was too big to operate on immediately, so they started me on chemo, which I had 3 sessions of FEC followed by 3 sessions of Docetaxel. I am on Herceptin for 12months, and now that my chemo has finished, I have just recently had my CT scan, and my surgery of a Double Mastectomy is planned for the beginning of September.
I have tried to remain strong and positive all the way through my diagnosis, as I have 3 young children, and I am on my own, single, I feel if I let this dreadful thing get me down, then it will affect my children too.
They still fall out and torment each others eyes out, which to me is normal life with my kids, so I am glad to say that the Cancer hasn't got us down, or in our way of living.....
