July 31st

1 minute read time.

I dread weekends but at least the sun is shining outside and I think we will get through this one ok, fingers crossed. Macmillan nurse came yesterday and i made sure she understood Ed was not taking painkillers properly. he hasnt forgiven me yet! Still she got GP to write up prescription for slow release Oxy- Contin which he only has to take 9am and 9pm, also liquid version that gives immediate relief if needed. That is muchh better for him and he managed a bit of fish last night. Also the app for scan came through for thursday next week but I have been up to hospital and have to phone Monday morning to see if there is a cancellation that Ed can use so we get results same week. That would help sort out some treatment more quickly, if there is any!

I feel very strange , outside looking in sort of stuff, just dont know what will happen next. This morning he woke in a pool of sweat but his temperature is ok now, he must have nightmares too but wont share them, he is so brave, his bones stick out everywhere I dont know where he finds his strength physically or mentally.  I have good support from family but it is my friends on here that keep me going because they really do understand the stress of waiting and watching, dread and helplessness when their loved one is terminal. I try not to post on the main site as i dont want to upset newcomers who need every ounce of positivety to fight their own battles. I pray Ed can enjoy the wedding and even get to spain again.

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