Waiting - Dec 2021

My Urologist has referred me to Oncology and also for a biopsy.   Oh the waiting!  I want both appointments right now.   I don’t know anything yet about my cancer or what the treatment would be.  Or whether the treatment is going to floor me.  Need information!

Everyone hates the waiting and develops survival strategies.  I live from one day to the next,  then I tick that week off and count down the weeks until I may expect an appointment letter or a phone call.  I try and stay busy and carry on normal activities.  I’m volunteering at an event for example.  It’s a distraction, something else to focus on.  Another weekend has passed.  I fill the void by googling for info, to be prepared and to know what to expect, as if it will make the time pass quicker!  I make it sound "easy".  When your life is on hold, and it's all you live for, it's hell.  

When I receive a letter or a phone call, I’m like a bairn at Christmas.  It’s elation personified.  I’m happy to have a tangible goal, a defined wait time which is so much better than an unknown.  

The biopsy letter arrives first, scheduled for 14th Dec.   It’s next week!  Happy days! 

Then the Oncology appointment arrives a couple of days later.  But wait!  14th Dec also.  Like buses, two together.   I consider whether I can make both on the same day.  But the biopsy is in one hospital and Oncology is in another hospital 45 mins drive away.  I know it’s a non-starter.   I phone to change it, hoping for the day after but discover the clinic is scheduled weekly.   Urgh so this is how the NHS ticks over.   I change it to 21st Dec, seeing the positive that it’s before Christmas and there was availability.  

I’m fortunate that both appointments are only a 3 week wait from referral.  Other people have been waiting a lot longer.