I didn't go into work this weekend, I thought I could but then it would have meant everyone crying and cuddling me and saying how sorry they were and I would have crumpled into a heap, so I just stayed away and it was the right thing to do for me. My wonderful boss asked me my opinion on who should take over from me and her words were "Well it's only until you come back". My favourite doorman Steve phoned me last night and was very upset, bless him and he is so angry that I have to go though this again but I told him it is ok, I knew it would happen, I just didn't know when. I am totally chilled out, I haven't been this way since I last was hanging over the freezers in Asda! very odd me thinks, I may be singing a different tune when needles and chemo comes at me again. Even my family have chilled out and kev (my grumpy old man) are fairly relaxed this time around. I thrashed Kev at Trivial Pursuit last night and we had a few drinks together, I told him that once i get 'chemo brain' back again, he should have no problem beating me!!!!! I have to sorn my motorbike because I won't be able to ride that again for some time but unlike before, even that is ok. I know that I can get it all back again. I have no desire to cry , though the tears will come but for the moment i am staying chilled and I am content with my lot. I had a fantastic year in remission and achieved so many things, I am so lucky. I was due to go body boarding and kayaking soon with my next door neighbour, but I will have to keep that on hold, but I shall be doing it, you watch me . I well my wonderful friends out there in Mac land, I need another bucket of tea before I finish my decorating, things to finish before chemo knocks me clean off my feet again. Glass still half full and not half empty (I know, someone is bound to tell me to stick that bloody glass where the sun don't shine! Where is my vasaline pot!!!!! Sending love and hugs to those who want them............Carolxx
