Kezzerbird....a letter to myself!!!!!!

1 minute read time.

What do you think you are playing at woman, sitting there all hunched up and being stupid eh? You are the first one to go one about kicking arse and giving cancer a run for its money, so don't you think it is time that you got off your bum and started kicking back?

I am trying to, it just doesn't seem to be working

You call that trying, yeah right, I don't. Look at yourself. Take yesterday, your grand daughter wanted to come upstairs and see you, she was in tears and what were you doing eh, lying there with you head in a sick bowl looking pathetic, all the child wanted to do was cuddle you and tell you how much she loves you and you couldn't even do that much for her. Come on Carol, you are stronger than that, you know you are

Some times I just don't want to be strong, have you ever thought of that, I am feeling like I did the first time round, the fight seem to have gone and I don't know how to get it back

What do you mean, the fight is gone. That is crap and you know it lady. Look at all those people you have lost because of cancer. Remember Louise, your best friend, she was only 10 when when she died, you carried her on your back when she became very ill that day, you walked 3 miles to get her home to her parents, on you back for heavens sake, you were only 12 yourself. Don't you think you owe it to Louise to keep fighting. You know that going through this isn't easy, you have been there and done it, so stop talking crap and pick yourself up and get on with it. You could just have an infection brewing which will knock you for six, you know that, you see your Mac nurse tomorrow, so get it sorted girl. I don't want to hear 'I can't' anymore, because I know you can and you will do this xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Carol, I am new here...wear slippers when you kick yourself then it won't hurt so much, but should be enough of a reminder that the fight is there. My Mum said that dreaded phrase "I can't do this anymore" at the weekend, that prompted me to join here. I am going to show her the photo I have of her just after she was diagnosed, she went down a huge slippery dip slide with her 6 year old grandson...it's that or I am borrowing my husband steel capped boots!

    You are an inspiration

    Love Julie x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Your allowed to have off days Carol, you cant be brave all the time. I dont comment on your blogs very often as you have so many friends on Mac who give you great advice and support so i know your in good hands, but i just felt i had to tell you that how you are feeling is normal, you have been a fighter all the way thru your treatment and you will again only you need to be kind to yourself, your body and mind  have been thru the mill of late , its all taken its toll but its just a blip in your journey,the

    Kezzer will get its KICK ARSE back ,so

    just for now go with the flow. So many many people look up to you ,and you have helped such a lot of people with your positive thinking and given support to so many. All your many friends on Mac are behind you ,supporting you so you haven,t got a hells chance of giveing up cos thay wont allow you to. So many hugs coming your way, with all those arms around you it will feel like a comfort blanket, wallow in its love and you will soon be getting your boxing gloves on again. Take care Carol.

    Love and Hugs Lucylee . XXXXXXX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Carol,

    my heart goes out to you but you have to remember you are only  part super hero part human and that human part sometimes has enough and says "screw it'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You will come up and bounce back because you are YOU, but for now rest your cape, boots, belt etc ha ha and take time out for you.

    With lots of love, gentle hugs and super hero thoughts,

    Alex xxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    no comment, just a huge huge huge hug. xxxx