Kezzerbird....a letter to myself!!!!!!

1 minute read time.

What do you think you are playing at woman, sitting there all hunched up and being stupid eh? You are the first one to go one about kicking arse and giving cancer a run for its money, so don't you think it is time that you got off your bum and started kicking back?

I am trying to, it just doesn't seem to be working

You call that trying, yeah right, I don't. Look at yourself. Take yesterday, your grand daughter wanted to come upstairs and see you, she was in tears and what were you doing eh, lying there with you head in a sick bowl looking pathetic, all the child wanted to do was cuddle you and tell you how much she loves you and you couldn't even do that much for her. Come on Carol, you are stronger than that, you know you are

Some times I just don't want to be strong, have you ever thought of that, I am feeling like I did the first time round, the fight seem to have gone and I don't know how to get it back

What do you mean, the fight is gone. That is crap and you know it lady. Look at all those people you have lost because of cancer. Remember Louise, your best friend, she was only 10 when when she died, you carried her on your back when she became very ill that day, you walked 3 miles to get her home to her parents, on you back for heavens sake, you were only 12 yourself. Don't you think you owe it to Louise to keep fighting. You know that going through this isn't easy, you have been there and done it, so stop talking crap and pick yourself up and get on with it. You could just have an infection brewing which will knock you for six, you know that, you see your Mac nurse tomorrow, so get it sorted girl. I don't want to hear 'I can't' anymore, because I know you can and you will do this xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    oh carol got to be quick as off to work, but just wanted to send you the biggest hug possible , come on girl you CAN do this , lots and lots of love ,always here jenni xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Carol - perhaps your fight is having a day or two's rest, so take it easy love. Hope your Mac nurse can hep you. Sending you lots of love, Val X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Carol, try as you lay there to list in your head or on paper all the battles you have won... just like you mentioned Louise, there have been many more that in the past you have as you say 'Kicked Ass' keep the list beside you or in the back of your mind and just keep adding to it...  no need to fight or struggle today... just go back in time and see hear and feel all the times you have been amazingly strong and courageous... it is amazing how the power of using your mind alone to recall positive moments in your life can help you regenerate the positivity you are searching so hard for today... let it take a day or two to filter through... little battles , big ones, ones that made you laugh and ones that tore at your heart, if you gained strength, love, energy, excitement, basically anything that you feel might help you today, go back in time to re live it... and whilst you are doing this, allow your physical body to relax, take advice from your nurse when they visit, be kind to yourself for a couple of days and go on a trip into the past to recapture all your vitality and strength for the future...

    I wish you well... Jules xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    if anyone can, you can!

    All the best to you.

    x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi carol, i read on here a while ago someone said if its making you feel crap its also making the cancer feel crap so keep the faith,

    jim