Hi everyone. Thought i would post a blog to let you all know how things are now the news has sunk in about my partner. Some days i feel ok and cope relatively well, other days are not so good. Jools ( my partner accepted the news straight away). I have had two visits now from the local hospice, and they have instilled a little confidence in me. They have informed us about pain relief available as and when it is needed. They have also given me phone numbers to ring if i worried about anything. Next week i am going for a visit with the family liason officer to have a good chat without Jools being there. That might be helpful, as i feel as though i cant tell him how i feel because i dont want to upset him. I am still going to work on Jools insistance. It helps really, it brings a bit of normality into our lives, and my work mates are being brilliant. Jools is doing ok, he has good days and bad days. One minute he is full of energy, but then it drops like a stone. He says he is quite happy with the news. His quality of life diminished a lot after the last operation and he says he dont want to be as he is for years to come. He says he has been dealt a short sell by date!!!!!!!! It is hard to hear him say things like that, as i would prefer to have him for a lot more years, he is only 42 ( birthday last week ). I have now tried to stop myself from running around like a headless chicken, thinking i should be doing something but not quite knowing what!.
Anyway i would just like to thank you all for the e mails and pm that i have received. I havent managed to reply to them all ( was too busy running around like headless chicken!!!!!!), so sorry if i havent sent you one. Bless you all and i hope you are all doing well and keep in touch.
Much love to you all JK ( kathryn) xxxx
FormerMember
Hi Kathryn
I'm so glad that you are getting all the help that you need at this very stressful time. It's amazing how we cope as human beings with all of this. Isn't great when you stop running around and getting worn out for nothing?? Now you can focus your energy. Sending you a hug and hoping that the more info you have the stronger you will feel about the future.
I read your blog and was sorry to hear your devastating news. You sound to be handling it even though you say you are running around like a headless chicken. I would love to keep in touch with you as I too have a partner who has been told that his chemo is only there to extend his time and is not a cure. There are days when I feel so helpless and dont know what to do. I agree with Jools that work is good. I have just started 3 days a week back at a place I used to work at albeit for 1 month. I am grateful for that it gives us a little space as we areboth at home 24/7.
I'm sorry you've been given such bad news. Cancer is so cruel and it is so awful that your partner should have his life taken at such a young age. Sometimes the fighting is so wearing on the soul that a peace comes with acceptance. When my brother-in-law was given a terminal diagnosis he refused to believe or accept it but it helped my sister (who was his only carer) to know that there was going to be an end to his suffering.
My sister did say that whilst lots of offers of support came from the medical community they wanted to take him into hospital and didn't seem very well organised to offer care at home. She is a quiet person unlikely to make a fuss and she did struggle along alone. I hope you don't have the same problems and make sure you don't put up with any bulls**t.
i was pleased to hear that the hospice people are involved they will help you cope and take some of the stress of you. even knowing there will be someone at the end of the telephone when you need help or have questions helps. don't worry about answering everybody's pm's and e-mails, just keep us posted on how things are going on here. if you need us where here for you.
