Bouncing between hell and back and now in limbo

I just want to thank you all for all the replies you sent after my last blog. It is wonderful to know there is so much love and support out there. Julian has now been at the hospice for three days and is still fighting. He is so remarkable and strong and i am so very proud of him. He is still very ill, but he is determined not to give in. He is very tired and keeps dropping off to sleep, but when he is awake he is pushing himself to act normal. Today, he wanted to go visit his mother , who only lives down the road, so off we went. I cant believe that less than two weeks ago he was only given an hour to live. Now he says that tomorrow he wants to come home for an hour. I must admit, all the time we are out my heart is in my mouth. I try my best not to show it, as i need to build up some confidence in dealing with the inevitable. We have had a nice day today and exchanged Valentine cards. Apparently he had walked to the local shop just to get one for me.......... I had to have words with the staff at the hospice though about the way they were talking to him. I know they are specially trained to deal with the dying, but why do they talk to everyone as though they are 100. Julian is only 42 and has always been a bit of a rock and roller!!!! Long hair, beard, leather jackets.......i'm sure you know what i mean. I know now, due to his illness he doesnt look like that anymore, but he is still the same person inside. Anyway, thankfully now they are talking to him in a language he understands, which has made him so much happier. I spent 2 hours yesterday with the family liason lady who was brilliant. We discussed how we can get Julian back home, as that is where he wants to die. It was quite an emotional 2 hours and i felt quite drained after, but she was very helpful. Anyway i am starting to waffle now so i will just say thankyou again. Love to you all and Happy Valentines Day xxxx jk kathryn xxxxxxx