I just want to thank you all for all the replies you sent after my last blog. It is wonderful to know there is so much love and support out there. Julian has now been at the hospice for three days and is still fighting. He is so remarkable and strong and i am so very proud of him. He is still very ill, but he is determined not to give in. He is very tired and keeps dropping off to sleep, but when he is awake he is pushing himself to act normal. Today, he wanted to go visit his mother , who only lives down the road, so off we went. I cant believe that less than two weeks ago he was only given an hour to live. Now he says that tomorrow he wants to come home for an hour. I must admit, all the time we are out my heart is in my mouth. I try my best not to show it, as i need to build up some confidence in dealing with the inevitable. We have had a nice day today and exchanged Valentine cards. Apparently he had walked to the local shop just to get one for me..........
I had to have words with the staff at the hospice though about the way they were talking to him. I know they are specially trained to deal with the dying, but why do they talk to everyone as though they are 100. Julian is only 42 and has always been a bit of a rock and roller!!!! Long hair, beard, leather jackets.......i'm sure you know what i mean. I know now, due to his illness he doesnt look like that anymore, but he is still the same person inside. Anyway, thankfully now they are talking to him in a language he understands, which has made him so much happier. I spent 2 hours yesterday with the family liason lady who was brilliant. We discussed how we can get Julian back home, as that is where he wants to die. It was quite an emotional 2 hours and i felt quite drained after, but she was very helpful.
Anyway i am starting to waffle now so i will just say thankyou again. Love to you all and Happy Valentines Day xxxx
jk kathryn xxxxxxx
FormerMember
Your Jools is an amazing man and it made me go all gooey about going to the shop for your card lol. These are the memories that will keep you going in the future and I'm sure you will make many more before you are sadly parted.
I think the silver lining in this very black cloud is that you both have the time to plan what he wants, to say all the things you thought you had plenty of time to say etc. Those who lose loved ones through accidents, heart attacks etc don't have that chance and live with regrets for the rest of their lives.
What a lovely man you've got there. How wonderful that he could be arsed to struggle to the shops to get you a valentine card. So romantic! Sorry things are so sad right now, but what great memories you'll have. You're very lucky to have had each other for however long you've been together. The trouble with loving somebody is, you know it's going to come to an end some day - cancer or no cancer. That's the tragedy of being human and we all have to go through it sooner or later.
Much love to you both. Try not to be sad until you have to be.
I have been following your blogs and my heart goes out to you both. I once read this quote: "There is no such thing as Happy Ever After, because one love always has to leave the other. Sometimes this is by choice, such as divorce, and sometimes it is cruel death and all that is left is memories." I don't remember who wrote it but it stuck in my mind. I hope you can have the opportunity to make some more happy memories with your beloved.
Hi kathryn I do hope you are ok I think you are so brave and I just hope I will be able to cope like you when my time comes. Your Julian sounds like an amazing person wishing you both all the very best love Lynne xxx
