Well i knew the calm wouldnt last long in my house...it never does! Had a quiet Friday and mistakenly thought all my kids were ok an dealing with this until my 18yr old son brought his 13yr old sister home last night absolutely legless. He had found her in his friends house,she is friends with the younger brother, and knew straight away she was drunk so he took her to the local garage to get juice to try sober her up before she saw me but on the way home fell and ripped her trousers started crying and didnt stop till about 1am.
She said she wanted to get drunk to tell me how she really feels about all this and that she really really loves me and her stepdad,that he own dad is doing her head in just now,that she is scared im dying,she feels her friends are ignoring her since she told them i had cancer and she was angry at me for not wanting her to come into the hospital the first day after my surgery (it was only to protect her and her wee brother)She also said she had read a wee bit of my blog when i answered the phone and wants to know why i called he the difficult daughter. After mopping up her sick and mine and her tears i tried to get her to bed prommising a chat in the morning when she was sober,i then cried myself to sleep,mainly because im so annoyed at myself for not realising how she felt and for the feelings of fear i have for my kids,i do not want to leave them ever.I texted her friend late last night asking them just to try spening a little time with her as she is having a hard time just now and i phoned one of her friends mum who has beaten cancer (unfortunatly her husband didnt and died 5 years ago) and asked her for advice and she suggested taking her to Maggies centre in Edinburgh for help, and to send her round to hers for a wee chat soon.
Everyone is so kind and caring but i tried to tell her i cant help if she isnt talking to me half the time.
Anyway woken up this morning with puffy eyes,sore arm ( i have a small blockage there as well) heavy heart and the desire to take my kids and wrap them in a duvet and stay with them like that forever.
FormerMember
I am so sorry to hear of your added troubles. When my husband was diagnosed in February my daughter and I could'nt decide whether to tell the grandchildren. My Daisy Mae who is 11 had been following the Jade Goody story in the papers and my daughter said it is too close to home and Daisy is such a little worrier that we agonised over the decision. Anyway we decided to tell her that Ray's cancer was terminal. She cried and cried bless her, however when she came to terms with it she was such a wonderful support to both Ray and me over the last 5 months. Children are very resiliant and have a fantastic way of coping as long as you are honest with them. Ray passed away on 3rd August and we had his funeral yesterday. Daisy got up in front of everyone and read a lovely poem to her grandad and everyone cried. Please be honest with your children they are stronger than you think and will be such a wonderful support to you. Love and hugs to you all. Annxx
I have just read about you loss and your husbands funeral,just wanted to say what a great little girl your Daisy must be.I'm sure you were very proud of her and I'm sure her grandad would have been.
We talked on another thread. I have a 17 and 9 year old ans said how wonderfully they were coping> Well like you it turns out my teenger wasn't! fi found a bong etc in his room.
I know its hard, I know and undestand it is shit but she is just coping and blowing off steam. I hit t he roof and we had a mega row. But in the end we both cried and it was better! it helped us both! My son talked about drugs and bullying and how it really felt. It was a real catalylist. your daughter got drunk like this for a reason. probabaly to express, just like the rest of us that she couldn't cope. there is nothing wrong or shameful in not being able to cope with our feelings and fears. Maybe she did it in a crass way, but how many of us are sophisticated enough to do it in any other? I know I'm not!!!!
Let the drink thing go and talk to her>
She loves you! she is scared and you need to talk! About your anger at her response and why, about the cancer and about oyur love for her no matter what..
I don't know your full situation and it may be tru e that she will lose you>. your job is to make her strong enough that she can survive even that! I cry every day cos I know I am losing my husband> the kids know tooo but they still have fun with their friends,
You ar the person who makes your chilfren strong! what does it matte that she got drunk in the grand scheme of things?
All my love and best wishes to you and your children>
