Well i knew the calm wouldnt last long in my house...it never does! Had a quiet Friday and mistakenly thought all my kids were ok an dealing with this until my 18yr old son brought his 13yr old sister home last night absolutely legless. He had found her in his friends house,she is friends with the younger brother, and knew straight away she was drunk so he took her to the local garage to get juice to try sober her up before she saw me but on the way home fell and ripped her trousers started crying and didnt stop till about 1am.
She said she wanted to get drunk to tell me how she really feels about all this and that she really really loves me and her stepdad,that he own dad is doing her head in just now,that she is scared im dying,she feels her friends are ignoring her since she told them i had cancer and she was angry at me for not wanting her to come into the hospital the first day after my surgery (it was only to protect her and her wee brother)She also said she had read a wee bit of my blog when i answered the phone and wants to know why i called he the difficult daughter. After mopping up her sick and mine and her tears i tried to get her to bed prommising a chat in the morning when she was sober,i then cried myself to sleep,mainly because im so annoyed at myself for not realising how she felt and for the feelings of fear i have for my kids,i do not want to leave them ever.I texted her friend late last night asking them just to try spening a little time with her as she is having a hard time just now and i phoned one of her friends mum who has beaten cancer (unfortunatly her husband didnt and died 5 years ago) and asked her for advice and she suggested taking her to Maggies centre in Edinburgh for help, and to send her round to hers for a wee chat soon.
Everyone is so kind and caring but i tried to tell her i cant help if she isnt talking to me half the time.
Anyway woken up this morning with puffy eyes,sore arm ( i have a small blockage there as well) heavy heart and the desire to take my kids and wrap them in a duvet and stay with them like that forever.
