Good day all,hope your all well and unlike us here in Scotland have a little sunshine left. Our summer is defo over,well im not sure it ever started but anyway,the garden furnature went back in the hut today,a sure bad sad sign that the nights are drawing in (love that expression) that it wont be long till all the ads for christmas start showing and you want to make soup! I feel safer in winter,i can hide my scars under long loose winter clothing without being asked if im too hot ect all the time. i can wear trousers and boots and scarves and not have to worry about showing my torso,daft i know,i should be glad to be alive but all this has really taken its toll on my body and too be honest im disgusting.Anyway,im loved by my family the way i am so thats a good thing.
I feel a little sore today but thats maybe because i had to reduce my painkillers as i messed up yesterday and think i almost overdosed on them,i seemed to take something every two hours instead of four and got mixed up with doses ect so trying to lay off them a little today.Had a shower as Billy ex boss said him and wife were coming for coffee,but didnt turn up,had even managed to get a glean pair of joggies on but had to chance them to pj bottoms as it hurts! Still cant get a bra on as i have staples just underneith a boob and have managed to pull one out already. I thought today i would have the urge to leave the house but i certainly dont,and im not rushing into it.
I know ive had surgery to remove the kidney with the tumour and have still got the other one to go so does that mean im officially cancer free now or do i need more tests ect to be able to tell? I am confused!
I also wonder about all those who have cancers that are cured,are they at risk of developing cancer again more than others?
Anyway,feel like cooking tonight,so away to do a spag bol,much love to everyone
Leigh xx
FormerMember
Body image :) ive always been big boned, i weigh 17stone & i have Crohn's, people say oh you should be a stick insect..you cant be ill!
Having had a few bowel resections over the years i have a few tramlines down that wonderful six pack of a belly (more like a 24 pack).
I used to worry about body image, losing hair etc but dont anymore.
We had a laugh with both my GP & Consultant recently when they asked if i was losing weight, i said "does it look like i'm losing any", also joked about not having to worry about losing hair as "i aint got none".
All i do worry about is looking so well & looking like a bouncer & yet i feel as weak as a mouse.
I dont seem to have the energy to climb the stais, rush to the loo (which i have to do frequently) & even type away on this blody keyboard.
Oh it is to be young & full of energy, clubbing all night then going straight to work.
I'll be 50 in January, what a milestone its suposed to be..people want to plan parties for me.
Me i just want to be on my own with my other half Chris, hopefuly on a narrowboat wandering along the canal as we have planned, wether its snowing or raining we dont care. The fire will be burning away in the cabin, Chris will have made a nice meal, we will down a few glasses of wine.
Before all this happens its that mad rush up to Christmas which i hate.
Well I wish you all well. I for one want to cancel Christmas but then I am a misery. I do however hope that you all keep up that that amazing fighting spirit I find so humbling and uplifting. 'One day at a time Sweet Jesus. that's all I'm asking of you' I love that song and it seems so apt for this site. Love and angel hugs to you all x xPatricia x x
I now realise that this blog should have been titled Body Image as i seen to have struck a chord with so many other out there going through their personal battles for survival.
Hugs to you all regardless of shape,size or battle scars xx
leigh n debbie ..... methinks u 2 gorgeous ladies dont look in the mirror properly? ...or are ur profile fotos not really u?????? you 2 are deffo 2 very beautiful ladies from what i can see
(hey im not gay !!! just i know when someone male or female is gorgeous......mmmmmm did i tell u about that gorgeous male nurse who looked after my son .....deamin .....mmmmmm)
