Last week I was told that I would have to have a double masectomy - I had cancer in my right breast 14 years ago (1995) and had a lumpectomy, radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. Now I have a recurrence in that breast together with new cancers in my left breast. I go through stages of numbness, sadness and sheer terror at the prospect of losing my boobs. My lovely fiance has said it won't make any difference to the way he feels about me, which is great, but I feel different about the way I feel about myself.
My youngest daughter [15] is in South Korea on a holiday visiting a school friend, and she doesn't know - I will have had my surgery 5 days before she is due to return. I don't know what to do - she will be so upset. My other children, 19, 32 and 35, are being very supportive.
I know I should pull myself together, but I really wasn't expecting this to happen - I just went for a routine mammogram and since then my life has turned upside down.
I would love someone to get in touch as it is so difficult for those nearest to really understand.
Juliette
FormerMember
Juliette
I can imagine how scaed you must feel, but you seem to have a very supportive family and fiancee. Try not to wory yourself about your youngest daughter, her siblings will make sure she gets all the support she needs when she gets home.
My mother had a single mastectomy and my sister had a double with reconstructive surgery . My thoughts are with you, and there are so many on this site who have gone through the same I am sure yo will get lots of support. Take care of yourself.
Hi Juliette, not sure if by now you will have had your surgery. I had a right mastectomy at the end of May and have recovered very well. Can`t quite imagine having to have a second one but who knows?
I (mostly) am fine and having no further treatment; on the other hand, one of the ladies I was in hospital with had two lumpectomies and then had to have her breast off and is not handling it very well at all.
She said she cries everytime she looks in the mirror. I myself look in the mirror every night when getting undressed and just sigh with sadness.
None of this is fair and especially in your case, with another mastectomy on the horizon or maybe done by now. This lady I speak of who is now my friend has said that two breasts off may be better than taking just one off, then there is nothing to compare with, but she is thinking of having a reconstruction now.
I myself (who has never had an operation in her 55 years) was absolutely petrified when they told me I had to have a mastectomy. My worst time was the few weeks before the op when I was still working but panicking every ten minutes!
Anyway, I consider myself very lucky to have had only had a mastectomy and no treatment, but am amazed at what other woman can conquer and you will too I`m sure.
I am going back to work (part-time) on Monday and am going with some trepidation, I still feel a bit sore and vulnerable, but I reckon I will have to go and see how things pan out, so wish me luck and I will be thinking of you and hoping you are feeling a bit better about things, god bless, Lesley xx
