I feel so alone even though I'm not

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Last week I was told that I would have to have a double masectomy - I had cancer in my right breast 14 years ago (1995) and had a lumpectomy, radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. Now I have a recurrence in that breast together with new cancers in my left breast. I go through stages of numbness, sadness and sheer terror at the prospect of losing my boobs. My lovely fiance has said it won't make any difference to the way he feels about me, which is great, but I feel different about the way I feel about myself. My youngest daughter [15] is in South Korea on a holiday visiting a school friend, and she doesn't know - I will have had my surgery 5 days before she is due to return. I don't know what to do - she will be so upset. My other children, 19, 32 and 35, are being very supportive. I know I should pull myself together, but I really wasn't expecting this to happen - I just went for a routine mammogram and since then my life has turned upside down. I would love someone to get in touch as it is so difficult for those nearest to really understand. Juliette
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