well where do I start, mum has another scan today. I am worried how my step dad is going to get her into the hospital so early, by the time she has her wash she is exhausted. He has just had hip replacement so dont want to put to much on him.. Was going to go down and help him take her but sods law I had diarrohea yesterday so best stay away...
Mum looks like the life has been kicked out of her. As my daughter said you cant normally get word in edgeways with mum she talks for England. Although she is trying to be normal and not worry us to much, you can see it in her eyes the fear of the unknown. She just looks, I dont no the correct wording... flat like her spirit has gone she's there in person but theres nothing else there. Family that we haven't spoken to for years, aunts cousins etc are being so supportive offering their help its really nice but what can they do,
2 days after mum was diagnosed my husbands 92 year old grandad was also diagnosed with cancer. He is in hospital at the moment on oxygen trying to stabilise his breathing before they can do anything with him, worrying times.
This time last year my dad had massive heart attack 3 mins from death. Quadruple heart bypass followed he didn't recover as she should another op followed in November last year. He lives in South Africa was impossible financially for any of us to go over. That was hard talking to him on phone listening to him struggling for breath and him saying I have got to go cant get my breath. Although they divorced over 25 years ago they remain the best of friends he is so worried now, concerned he may have another heart attack he getting lots of pains.
July - my husbands ex mother in law who he remained close to died from cancer
Oct - my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour. 40 yrs old that hit me so hard. Just before surgery she was told it is so dangerously close to a nerve if we touch it you wont be coming out alive. Boy that was tough. Luckily she made it although still extremely tired as her medication had knocked all her other medication out of kilter for her thyroid problem...
Nov - my brother had his gall bladder removed.
Dec - my step dad had rip replacement
March mum and grandad diagnosed with cancer and on top of this had a gnae app last week for myself. The hysteractomy doesn't worry me thank god I say but what concerns me is he said I got to have a hysterascopy first, gave me a leaflet.. With everything going on just put it in my drawer and didn't read it. Well I read it yesterday now I am thinking s**t was this about is it just routine or do they suspect something nasty. Time will tell.
I wish I could see things through a childs eye. My lovely grandaughter made my mum a lovely get well card last week and before I went to the hospital with my daughter she said I will come with you and give nanny flo a great big kiss and she will be better you'll see.... Oh if only things were that simple.
Sorry to go on but these blogs help me get it all of my chest and not worry family with it all. My husband is being so supportive bless him, he seems to know when i need to laugh and when i just want peace, but he to has got his own worries with his grandad so trying not to put to much on him..
I am surprisingly calm through this, I have to stay strong for my mum she is not just my mum she is my best friend.... I cannot allow myself to think of anything other than she will get better. Thinking of you mum every minute of every day just hope I can be as good a person as you and stay as strong as you are......
