My chemo started 2 days ago, the next session is in 3 weeks. I was anxious about it cos I didnt know what to expect but it went ok.Problem is I now spend all my time waiting on the effects to hit me and I know I cant go on like this. I know that not everyone experiences all theses effects and at the mo I feel sick in the morning but it soon disappears and I have been given medication to help me with this.
For the first time in a while I have been having a wee cry when I get up I hate feeling sorry for myself and I normally shake myself out of it.My hubby is back at work having been off for 8 weeks and it is strange not having him around during the day.I have spent today trying to build up the confidence to step over the front door and go for a walk but havent been able to do it.
Im sure these feelings will pass I guess I just need to tell them to others who may have felt the same.
FormerMember
I'm glad that you have climbed the chemo mountain - and found it not as bad at the top of your summit as it sometimes can be. If at all poss, it would be good to try to busy yourself with some project or other so that you aren't sitting thinking, hmm, when are worse symptoms going to kick in? If they do later, then they do, and that's even more reason to get up and go a bit now - I don't mean convert the loft or plumb in a new bathroom, but maybe something you've always wanted to do, and thought, if only I had the time... I'm saying that from experience, as during my 7-hour chemo stints, I wrote a lecture about the History of 20th Costume. It gave my chemo brain exercise, and I had an end product. Equally importantly it kept my mind occupied, rather than whittling about my state of health. Is there something you've always wanted to do - what about the best-seller "Jules Conquers Cancer"?
I understand exactly what you mean about it feeling momentous in a daunting way for you to be alone at home all day after a couple of months of company, and also that the front door can become a chasm. I felt a bit wobbly on my first walk out after my course of treatment. I also felt as if everyone was looking at me, and something disastrous would happen. These feelings did indeed pass. Small steps is the answer, figuratively speaking. Set yourself a little goal like the newsagents or a friend's house. You'll build up confidence again very quickly.
Keep battling and you will grow in confidence. lots of love xxxx Penny
I know exactly what you mean! Before chemo I was scared silly, just thinking of all the side effects ... Tomorrow will be my second session and for the last 3 weeks I've felt fine. Like you, I felt a bit queasy in the mornings, but the medication dealt with that. I had 3-4 days with aching muscles, but again that soon wore off. My hair's falling out [and it aches], but i knew that would happen. Oh, and I cut my finger and got an infection - which cleared up very fast with a poultice. So all in all, I've been very lucky. But I've been poised on a knife edge waiting for something worse to happen! So you really are not alone - I know some people have been very unlucky and experienced a whole range of miserable side effects, but they do say that everyone is different, and we may just be the lucky ones! I'm sure I won't get through my whole treatment as easily - but long may it last like this!!! Good luck to you. Love, Kate
I had no trouble with confidence, but my husband has been retired for years, and was always there. Still is. I didn't think it made that much difference, but it must do.
Post op, he used to take me to the park, so that I could start my walk from there. By the time I was on chemo, I had already started to drive so I could go by myself. Of course, we have the dog, and I have always taken her for her first walk of the day. I always say I let her come on my walk, but with a hairy friend looking frantic that I might feel like staying in bed, it is easier to fall into the routine. I would go early, even before chemo, and on a chemo day and the day afterwards, I would go back to bed and sleep if I felt like it.
If you meet someone, you don't have to speak unless they do, and if they say "Lovely day" you just agree even if it is pouring with rain. That is the tradition. You could just walk to the bus stop and start your walk at the other end. Wearing special clothes like a tracksuit and trainers makes you feel silly if you don't go.
As for the side effects, they will arrive if they are going to. I thought I wouldn't have any at first, and I must say when they did, they weren't as bad as I expected.
I do think it is important to get out every day, because it gives one a sense of proportion and is part of the medication. As for the chemo, it is a strong poison, so you need to rest and drink plenty to help your body get rid of it. Have fun, rest as much as you like and be happy.
I have found you can decide to be happy, and do it. I was a complete misery once upon a time, which I am sure you are not. I had to start being happy. Walks in the woods listening to the birds are a great help. I watch the flowers come into bloom and go away and be succeeded by others. I had to find out what would make me happy and do it. It does work. Trust me. It helped me get over cancer. And a whole lot of other things.
But now that you're back home you'll get well quicker than in hospital, for sure. I don't know whether it's something common, but also my sister had a troublesome infection after the first chemo and we were worried that it would delay the second and other chemos. But that was the only time, as the second and all the other ones went well -I mean, with no infections-
I hope it will be the same for you!
And moreover, I find it useful that in your country you have a 24/7 phone number to call and a doctor visiting at home. In Italy we have to go to the ER, as no GP will visit in the evening or at night. And when you get to the ER... wow then the quee is long ;-)
Luckily we can call the hospital where my siser is being treated if we need it, but not all the hospitals offer this service.
Getting back to the start, good luck for your recovery :-)
hi there,yes i remember my first chemo i am now on number 5 next time then just 1 left to go everyone seems different,the first few i had there were symptums right away feeling so tired then sick,but as they go on it takes longer for them to kick in but they can last up to a week so i wish you luck everyone is different.take care
