Post Op Blues

Hello Jules. Sorry that you are feeling down at the moment but you have been through a big operation and you need time to recover both physically and mentally. I felt much the same after my surgery - totally different, I know - but it's the post op blues that do seem to happen when you leave the care at the hospital. Please don't put your appearance down, Jules, you should have seen my face the day after the op - it was the size of an over-blown football and my ear to ear cut was stapled together without any covering. I would have got the leading lady's role as Frankensteins' sister without the need of theatrical make-up ! Hammer House of Horrors here we come, no joke ! I can laugh now but at the time I felt awful - the arm from which the flap had been taken hung at a weird angle to my body so that made me feel like Quasimoto of the bells, the bells fame. But the swellings go down and eventually the numb feeling goes when the nerve ends recover. Plus, if your oncologist is pleased with how you are then there's nothing to worry about - the registrar at my op told my hubby that I looked lovely afterwards, blimey !

As to your friend's dumb comments - just ignore them and let it go, it's not worth getting upset over. You are the same lovely person underneath the war wounds and you will win the battle. Take care, chin up and all my best wishes. Love, Joycee xx

Hey Jules,

Know you are down, but I always had a cruel streak so mind if I give you a quick shake anyway !!

Right first you are the same person you always have been, you are a caring loving person and also have a partner that loves you.

Understand you are hurting physically and yes a bit of self doubt about your outer attributes - eer boobs !!

How we look is sometimes the first thing that attracts a partner, but not always honest. but the first attraction is just that, it fades - the lasting thing is you II

Real beauty is from within and from the post you put on here, the love and positivity you send to others, you are a very beautiful person.

If he loved you before surgery then he will love you now none of have bodies that do not change over time so go with it. Start by looking at your self when you shower, you have to love yourself if you want others to love you.

Opps ok shaking over lol - take care, these things take time but honest you will get there - just go at your own pace please

love and err gentle hugs

John xx

Thank you wonderful people!  

Nic - I promise tomorrow will be better xx

Joycee - you made me laugh re Frankensteins sister, what a film we could have made LOL x

John - I needed that shake it has done me the world of good and such lovley words, your a gem

Love you all

Jules xxx

Oh Jules

I was in tears reading your earlier post.  I can't even imagine how you feel as the only surgeries I have ever had were fairly benign and the only visible reminder is a very misshapen belly button, which sits beautifully in the middle of the stretch marks left by my pregnancies.  I've always been terrfied of the thought of surgery and you have my complete admiration for coping as well as you have.

Like Joycee, my daughter has had head surgery, both times to try and remove the monster in her head.  The first time, she had the ear to ear cut and staples, and the second time, the scar ran from her forehead, across the middle of her skull and swung round in a crescent shape towards the back of her head, again held together with staples.  For the last surgery she decided to shave her head as they weren't sure until the day, where exactly they were going to cut.  She was 10 hours in theatre and I spent the entire day making bargains with a God I don't even believe in.

When I saw her head unwrapped for the first time after surgery, swollen massively and with a drain coming out of the top and her 2 black eyes, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and she looked as fragile and vulnerable as she had when the midwife handed her to me.  She took pictures of her head, and I still flinch when I see them, because they're evidence of what she's had to go through.

Nobody who loves you could ever find you less than beautiful, and if they're shocked by what they see, it's because it's a visible reminder of what you've has to suffer, and how close they came to losing you.  Nothing else.

I know it's easy for me to say, because I've never been through surgery (too late), but next time you look at yourself, remind yourself of the fact that these scars are evidence of your bravery and determination.  Battle scars.  You're still you.  

Love, Ann x

Hi Jules,

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If your Husband loved you before your Op He will love you even more now.

Look after eachother and good luck for the future to you both.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx