Telling my family about Dad

1 minute read time.

Hello all. I have never done this before, written a blog that is.  I have fancied writing a blog before but never thought it would be about this. I have never had to deal with cancer before either. I feel the need to write things down. I thought about a diary or a journal but then thought it would be too depressing. Too insular. So, I'll type it here and we can share. 

The difficulty I have is that I am writing this in the computer room of my parents' house. My adult sister also lives here with them. I am married and live about 25 miles away but I've been here all Christmas because I was forewarned of my father's most likely diagnosis on about 9 Dec 2009.  It was confirmed on 30 Dec then again on 31 Dec by the Neuro-Oncologist. The reason I am putting pen to paper now is this; my mother and sister do not yet know that my father is terminally ill. He wanted to get New Year out of the way so as to let them enjoy it. The quiet before the storm. You may think that sounds bizarre but I don't. I understand completely. I also think he needs to let it sink in for himself too. We have not mislead them into a false sense of security or hope but we have been perhaps tellingly silent on the issue. My father has gone out today with his best mate to tell him. He wants me to break the news to my mum and sister. He can't be here and I understand. My heart is racing and I feel sick. My husband is standing by to come here but we both thought it best to leave us three to it for the next few hours.  I'll come back when I've done this. This blog is going to be helpful.

J

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello J, I'm sorry you find yourself here but hope you find writing your blog helpful.

    There are plenty of us that read the blogs regularly and I'm sure others will be along and comment soon.

    You'll find plenty of support here too and there is nothing relating to cancer or its effects that are taboo, so pour it all out.

    I hope this afternoon isn't too traumatic for you all. It's a horrible thing to tell loved ones and impossible to predict how they will react to the news.

    Bad Fairy x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    My thoughts are with you and your family and hope you get the strength to carry you thru this sad time. I have been through it myself and know whay you are going thru.As bad fairy says this is a good place to get support. T ake care love jm.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you so much June-m and bad fairy. Wasn't as traumatic as you'd think. I'll pop back shortly. Thank you again.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi J,

    Firstly welcome, secondly I'm sorry about your dad's diagnosis.  I can fully understand you respecting your dad's wishes and standing by him with understanding.  At the same time I understand how much pressure it also puts you under keeping it quiet, but you did so I believe for the right reasons.  Now the new year has begun hopefully you all can find the strength to support eachother through this difficult time and I hope your dad stays as painfree and as comfortable as possible.

    What has your dad been diagnosed with? if you don't mind me asking.

    Anyway best wishes and take care Ren x

  • Hi J

    Hope the meeting was not too traumatic.

    i see your Dad has brain cancer. There are many on this site with the same diagnosis and I am sure they can give you some comfort.

    Best Wishes

    Sue x x