As i mentioned earlier, I began chemo in July last year, and was told id have 3 cycles of BEP ( i later had an extra in patients, so three and a half cyles in total). each cycle lasting three weeks, and chemo every week. on the fridays id go in as an out-patient to clinic and have Bleomycin for half and hour, and on the third friday id be admitted as an in- patient (which i dreaded) but i made some amazing people!!
i would have all three chemo drugs on this friday, Etoposide, Cisplatin and bleomycin and again all three on the sat and on the sunday, id have cisplatin and etoposied. so all in all id be admitted for three days! in one cycle i would have in total ten bgs of chemo in three weeks.
the first cycle was very surreal. ovbiously i was sceptical and was a bit unsure about how id feel. but as always, i went in with a smile on my face and my fists up high ready for this fight. i had a side room for this in patients 'trip' simply becuase i was the youngest person on this ward. there was a teenage ward below which was amazin, (TV computurs, dvd, fridges etc) but there were only a limited of beds which were used for younger kids. that was perfectly fine by me!! because id rather they have the comfort of that ward as they were very ill and often stayed in longer, ie leukemia (becoming neutropenic meant they had to be there for weeks, if not months on end)
anyway, a description of ward 14 (named 'the ward of doom' by the younger kids) was simply a corridor with various side rooms, toilets and bays (which had four beds in) the patients varied between 20(me) and 80 years old, between sex and between cancer types. its wasnt very modern and there was always a stench that, to this day reminds me of the 'forgotten 2007'! the first inpatients didnt bother me, i had tons of visitors and lots to do so it flew by! i went home on the sunday, went to wrk on the monday, tues and weds. waiting for the friday to come so i could have one outpatients over with. on the thursday i began to feel ill. not just sick but in a wierd way, not myself. i was hot, sweaty and had the worst back pain in the world. i thought itwas the chemo and its nasty effects but as the night went by and i was being sick, and a temp around 39 i realised something was wrong. so went went back to the ward and had various test ect. turns out i had a simple water infection, but becuase my white blood cells were low, my body couldnt fight the infection itself. i got told off.. (oops) numerous of times by the staff for not coming in earlier. (because a simple infection can kill if not treated whilst on chemo)i was on a continious injection of morphine (yippeeeee) hehe.. i liked morphine :D for a week, and anti biotics to kill the infection.
I met three people that week, who will forver be in my thoughts, margaret, sylma (R.I.P) and Ana. all of which are over 50 (but who cares, age is just a number!) I still see and speak to margaret and Ana, but sadly sylma passed away not long after i met her. these three people are the most kindest, generous, happiest people i have ever met, and im so greatful for meeting them. they inspire me so much and i will be eternally thankful for their friendship!!
thats the thing about cancer, in a stupid weird way it brings people together wether its people around you or the people you meet. theres always someone with a story to tell, and its great! ( my stories are long as u can tell.. lol)
so, infection gone and the first cycle out of the way.. ( oh i lost my hair two weeks after chemo began, my younger brother who's 18, shaved my head for me, and he loved it the cheeky thing!) i had two wigs which i hated wearing and lots of hats, bandana's and hats with hair. these were simple hats with detatchable velco strips with hair. (these were my saviour!)
second cycle came arund and i stopped work, not becuase i wanted to to, but i just had no energy. i ate like a horse (thanks to the dex- steriod thingys) slept like a baby (when i wasnt meant to, i couldnt for the life of me sleep through the night but as soon as i had something to do or some where to go, ud bet id be kippin standing up!)
im going to mention one thing, which alot of people find embarassing and seem to forget it occurs with chemo. the dr's never mention it but it should be written in the side effect section of the little contract thing you sign (contract totally made me laugh).. ok here goes... hemerriods!!
haaa.. there i said it! please go to your doc n get it sorted becuase its killer ir you dont. don't be embarrassed.. ( believe me, you have no dignity what so ever when you get the side effects, baldness, sickness in public, hemerroids, wind ( i think tht was just me.. haha)
anyway, so by cycle two i was used to the side effects and it was becomin my way of life. i changed as a person which was the worst thing. i was moody, snappy and couldn tolerate speaking to people. everything seemed to annoy me. from the birds outside, to having to turn the tv channel over! i hated it. my family were great they learnt to ignore my nasty comments and my crazy moods. it didnt take long for me to get bk to normal once chemo finished thank god!
cycle three was ok.. obviously the effetcs got worst as they do ( because the chemo occumulates in your bady and builds up) i was sick more, very very tired. the sore mouth was unbarable, sore feet, bone ache (awful awful awful!)i was forever thirsty!
the half of cycle four was the worst, not because of the side effects but beacuse it was the last, i expecteced everything to go back to normal with in a week, and when it didnt i became inpatient! after a round a month, i statred to feel a look a wee bit like myself. the bloated look was still there and you could still tell i was a chemo kid but i was able to do lots more.. within two months my hair started to sprout and thats when i knew i was on my way back..
:)
