I have got a 'friend' whos wife has cronic pain syndrome, with no cure, she often comes out for a drink and is always depressed. I went out the night I was diagnosed and she said 'why are you out you must be in shock!' I have stayed really positive through my diagnosis and carried on as normal making an effort when I go out.He keeps saying to me Lynne wishes she has cancer and then at least she could be treated. He has no idea of what I have been through with my chemo and radiotherapy and the long term side effects, and my stoma op next week.They see me looking well and think 'she looks ok'. It makes me mad someone could be so insensitive. He has no idea what it's like to stand in front of a doctor and be told you have a year to live if you do nothing!!!
He keeps saying why should you get paid to be off work when you seem ok. If his wife had cancer she would be really negative and not go out.It just makes me so cross, other people just don't understand what a personal battle we go through every day just to appear 'normal' in spite of adversity.
Rant over
Love Jo x
FormerMember
hi love i have the same to me . i have 2 members of my own family say i not got cancer i not sick i just cut my hair for fun and to get peope to look at me and fill sorry for me. i have mates saying wow but th cancer you have not a bad one and the chemo must be a week one so that why u look ok . only my lovly simon knows how bad i got as i have to keep going for me .and him. i dont wont the rrrrrrrrrrr bless i fill sorry for you and all that shit .or the i been there most have not . i got one very good mate that has she been my rock but only when i need here as she knows you dont need a rock every day just when you fill a bit low and fed up with the world babes i thing you ment to like sick with cancer as thats what you see in mag on tv . look good fill good and chin up . when this happens do this ...... in you head say what ever may you never have to go throw what i did then give them i big smile . thats what i do love to all jilly ann xxxxxxxxxxxx
I've lost count of how many times I've been told that Malignant melanoma isn't as "bad" as other Cancers by well-meaning friends! Well, if that is so then why do I have a 3inch diameter 'crater' in my foot and 3 lymphnodes missing from my groin and plastic surgery????? It's not a simple case of cutting off the melanoma and everything is fine unfortunately.
This friend is not a friend he's a prat! I think if someone had said that to me he would have had all the gory details of my disease and treatment delivered to him with both barrels! On the other hand, why waste your time?
If people tell me I am looking good, I just say "thanks", and count my blessings. I was diagnosed in time to have a really good operation via keyhole surgery, and recovered well from that. Then my chemo didn't make me lose my hair, though the way it looks now, it would be better gone.
I have had it easy. If people think I look better than if I was emaciated, without hair, etc. well that is obvious. And a lot of people just don't want to know. I generally tell my hairdresser what a surprisingly good experience I had from the NHS and how there is life after cancer. If it leads to people having less fear of it and presenting themselves for treatment earlier, it can only be a good thing.
Its made me feel a lot better, its only on this site that people really understand what we are going through!!!
Its a great outlet to share our feelings.
I am keeping up to date with everyones blogs, I know some of you are having a real hard time,
I don't always comment as there are some great people who always answer and say the right things, but I do check every day to see how everyone is doing.
Will post another one after my stoma op next week, think I will call mine Charlie!!!
