I have got a 'friend' whos wife has cronic pain syndrome, with no cure, she often comes out for a drink and is always depressed. I went out the night I was diagnosed and she said 'why are you out you must be in shock!' I have stayed really positive through my diagnosis and carried on as normal making an effort when I go out.He keeps saying to me Lynne wishes she has cancer and then at least she could be treated. He has no idea of what I have been through with my chemo and radiotherapy and the long term side effects, and my stoma op next week.They see me looking well and think 'she looks ok'. It makes me mad someone could be so insensitive. He has no idea what it's like to stand in front of a doctor and be told you have a year to live if you do nothing!!!
He keeps saying why should you get paid to be off work when you seem ok. If his wife had cancer she would be really negative and not go out.It just makes me so cross, other people just don't understand what a personal battle we go through every day just to appear 'normal' in spite of adversity.
Rant over
Love Jo x
FormerMember
I agree with the others he is a "plonker" - I've given up swearing for Christmas otherwise it would have been stronger. Some poeple are born insentitive, I have someone at work whose husband had received chemo for Bowel Cance she said " oh G said chemo was easy"!!! and then someone else said "oh such and such's husband didn't lose his hair", others are constantly surprised that I look so well - not sure if they expected me to grown two heads or what!
People make huge assumptions about Cancer through ingnorance, they forget that we are all different, with differnet chemo/treatment and different side effects etc.
We strive for normality for us and sometimes for those we love, because it helps us cope with all the other stuff. I have developed a love for red lippy (never wore red b4) and always put it and my perfume on when I go out - it makes me feel good.
Next time the plonker opens is mouth tell him unless he has something nice and positive to say, he should keep his mouth firmly shut.
Its always a great feeling to know that people take the time & read all our blogs. I have been reassured by a lot of people in the last few weeks, when I have been feeling really down. Being able to share our feelings with people that understand our worries & fears. Good luck Jo for next week & a speedy recovery.
Blimey there are some strange people out there. I'm lucky that no one has specifcally said to me that I was "pretending" and that I didn't have cancer. I suppose before BC my experiences of the dreaded "C" was a couple of friends who didn;'t make it and knowledge of others who suffered dreadfully with chemotherapy. Times have moved on - more of us are living with our "enemy" than before and the treatments are much improved. I suppose that if you can look almost normal it is hard for people to understand what's going on. I didn't suffer too badly thro chemo, only hospitalised once when I went "neutropenic". Generally I perked up amazingly between cycles - well at thebeginning anyway. Sickness was controlled fantastically and with the help of the "cold cap" kept a fair bit of my hair. I find it strange now that when I have "off days" - sometimes becauseof not sleeping due to the hot flushes (or sometimes just sheer fear) and I say I'm tired, people are amazed. You don't just return to your old self after what we've been through. I suppose we should flatter ourselves that we're doing such a good job of pretending that people are taken in by it. Go, girls, go xx
Hi Jo - and there's nothing as queer as folk, is there? God, these people do not know how very lucky they are to not have cancer as a companion. Imagine wishing you HAD cancer, stupidly saying; then at least you'd be treated! She must be deranged, and he must know she's deranged. I'm like you, in that I go out whenever I can, always have a smile on my face and never, ever self obsess about my illness. It's very true that there are people out there who will NEVER know what we go through, simply because we choose not to make a song and dance at every opportunity about me, me, me, me. I like it that way Jo, and if these people are so truly insensitive, then perhaps even if they DID know what you are going through, would they have the compassion and understanding to deal with the knowledge? I doubt it somehow. You carry on along your path Jo, and I'll carry on along mine, because that's what gets us through. wishing you well for a bright future, with lotsa love kate xxxxxxxx
GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!!!!! ALTHOUGH I AM FORTUNATE NOT TO HAVE CANCER, MY PARTNER DOES. BEING GLUM DOES NOT MAKE CANCER OR ANYTHING GO AWAY, ALL BEING GLUM DOES IS MAKE PEOPLE AVOID YOU. MY PARTNER IS IN EXTREME PAIN BUT TO EVERYONE HE PUTS A SMILE ON HIS FACE AND HAS A LAUGH. IT IS A DIFFERENT STORY IN THE PRIVACY OF OUR HOME, HE HAS VERY DOWN DAYS, BUT EVEN THEN HE TRIES HIS BEST TO KEEP UPBEAT FOR MY BENEFIT. WE BOTH HAVE WARPED SENSE OF HUMOUR AND TRY TO LAUGH ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION ( WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO?) WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR IMMINENT OP, KEEP SMILING HONEY AND DONT LET THE GRUMPY B******DS GET YOU DOWN. LOVE JAYNE KATHRYN XX
