painted face!!!

Hi jennifer ((hugs))

I can only imagine how chemo is making you feel, so cant really comment on that as I havent been through it. What I can say however is that I am sure that your children are very astute and realise that all is not as rosy as you paint it. I know that as mums we always try to protect our children, but in this instance I think that you may all benefit from letting them in and sharing this with them. As you say, they are actually young adults and may be imagining all sorts as imagination can be worse than any reality, by being open about how rough you are feeling you give them the chance to help you rather than them feeling helpless. I know that you want them to be carefree but you perhaps iit tis time to be more honest with them.  I think that you will laos find that your childrens friends rally round them  alot more than your own have with you, I know when my 3 were going through their own journeys with their grans cancer, their friends stepped up to the mark for them.

I think that you need to put YOU first just now, you need to all your strength to fight with!! and time for some straight talking with your 'friends', you have nothing to lose as at present it appears that they are not being supportive. quite often it seems that this is through fear of the unknown, so open the channels and lay it on the line - tell them what you need from them and you may just be surprised. And if they dont step up to the mark, you are no worse off tnan you are now - with a few less christmas cards to write!!. I know that if you are not the type of person used to relying on others this wont be easy, but even though you are a fighter, we all need a little help sometimes. Stop saying 'I'm fine' and start saying 'well, its tough but you could really help by........'.

And finally, I really hope that you get good interim results tomorrow, please dont face this battle alone - let your children support you, I am sure that you have brought them up to be caring individuals and now is the time to allow them to give something back. It will help all of you, I am sure (although I am not a cancer patient I have spend all of my childrens lives in and out of hospital, and know that they feel more in control when they know exactly whats going on!)

Anyway, best wishes for tomorrow,. and everyone is allowed a moment of weakness  xx , keep fighting but leave the facepaint behind!!

((hugs)) Sharonxx

hi jenn

i'm surrounded by friends who have demanded i tell them when i'm not feeling good, or down - they are not wanting me to put on my normal " i'm fine" so that's what i've been doing. its a shame people are always unsure what to say - but like you i want to scream - I'm ok - its not catching lol x you keep that smile on your face gal and i'm sure the results will be positive -

take care and good luck

Tracey

xxxxx

Hi Jennifer,

Just tell them the truth. All the best for tomorrow..

Look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

You may have lost many so called friends we all did along the way.

The good thing is we have made many more wonderful friends who know exactly how you are feeling!

All the best for tomorrow!  Love Julie xxxx

Hi Jennifer, can I just give you a great big hug,bless you!

I was so like you Jennifer in trying to protect your children but maybe the time has now come when you really need to explain how you are feeling! I know that you have a lot of strong support on Macland but we cannot give you 'a real' hug or dry your tears when needed,eh? You are probably feeling so lonely right now and that is not a good thing!!

Sure there will be tears but there will also be love,comfort and support and that is so precious when it comes from your children!!

Jennifer,some of my friends just did not know how to approach me so I had to take the first step,hell,my own Sister avoided me for 2 weeks because she thought that my seeing her in pieces would not be helpful at all. Have you made contact with any of your friends?

Best wishes for tommorrow honey.

Big hugs, Alison.x