well ive had quite a weekend, car crash sunday , put deposit on new car today , something i did promise ju i would do when it felt right and it did, so what with that and new job was feeling very positive,
also as many of my lovely friends on here know my best friends baby is now over due , and dont get me wrong i love my best friend dearly but her hormones are driving me mad , :) , and i cant wait to see her baby come into the world but i really hope its not in next 24 hrs as i dont know if i will be able to be strong for her ,
as tommorow our eldest daughter will be 15 ,we are all walking on egg shells , as will be the first birthday since ju passed away ,it took me 3 days to wrap her pressies up as we used to always do it together, i cant look at the calender as ju has written a message on their for her ,he did it before he died,hes done it on all our birthdays , dont get me wrong ive always been soppy on birthdays thinking back to when they came into the world, ju always used to laugh at me ,every year ,every birthday , and then tell me i was a fab mum for giving them an amazing birthday , well im not sure if i can live up to that at the moment , im in tears again just writing this , bless her she has requseted a *homemade cake like only mum makes * i can manage that , i only hope shes not feeling as sad as me , as i really want her to have a lovely birthday ,and hopefully il be able to put the brave face back on if only for a little while, just to make her day special , surely i can manage that !!!
