Last few days have not been easy but a little more settled or so i thought , hubby so tired since incident at garden centre havent even tried to go out,
Left him to sleep in this morning which only made him feel worse, we cant win no matter what we do, dizziness and sickness slightly improved with new meds, but nothing to write home about, we were so hoping for a little respite and a bit more quality of life but i think i was hoping for too much, spoke to our macmillan nurse today about maybe upping steroids but she said hubby is very sick and she now feels they wont have any benefit, our last hope gone !!!
even the kids are now feeling the strain, my little boy is very quiet and hardly leaves his dads side, and the girls are struggling, bless them all, they are fantastic kids . this is so unfair on them, and me well i maybe breaking inside but outside i am doing amazing im so proud of myself , that may sound stupid but i have got to keep going for everyone else,
now my nightmare, in laws, i have told them to keep visits short ,well they wont bloody listen , his dad stayed all day today, and hubby is to polite to say something but hes shattered, and it makes me feel awkward as cant sit with them all the time as they need time together, but it is my house, and i cut my hours down to spend my time with hubby , and when they finally go he is then fit for nothing, maybe im just being selfish, his mum also rang this morning saying she was desperate to see him so i made it clear she is always welcome ,then she came up with every excuse not to come this week !!!! i cant do anymore to keep everyone happy im trying my best even if for some that is not enough ,
well on a lighter note , i just tried to stick my fingers together with superglue mending a mug hubby gave me . that made him laugh, so as i say to him i have my uses even if its only to make him smile :)
