I had an amazing day yesterday with my best friend and her lovely baby, who as from tommorow i will be her guardian :), i even got to take her out for an hour on my own ,which was big thing for mum ,but me and neve loved it , we had loads of cuddles ,smiles and play time, we spent the whole day together it was lovely, and mum was so glad she did it, as now shes over that hurdle when shes tired me and neve can go off and have fun while she sleeps ,
Tommorow is her naming day , so ive spent 2 days cooking all their meals , making salads, ive even got their ironing and stuff has mum has postnatal depression and is exausted ,so its lovely to be able to help ,so for me who likes to be useful its good,
So why do i feel so sad, simple we should all be sharing it with the one person missing ,ju would have loved the way neve makes me smile, or melts my heart when she smiles ,and he would have adored her as i do, even my father in law just said to me i go gooey eyed when i speak about her ,and is lovely to see me happy, but inside my hearts breaking, i miss him so much ,i just so wish he was here to enjoy the miracle of life and a baby so so loved by us all ,but the morning neve was born i know he was their as we were alone i was holding her and i felt his arms round us both , and no im not mad , i will never forget that feeling and one day neve will know just how much ju loved her , and tommorow im dreading the speeches as neves parents feel the same as me that ju has been watching over neve since she was concieved , will i cry ,yes prob as usual ,but thats me , but on the happy side i also get to look after neve while mum and dad are busy before hand, god im lucky i get all the good jobs :)
