I have not been on here for a while,
Maybe a good thing as life is moving on, im putting the pain and heartbreak behind me, work is just fab ,ive gained so much confidence and my abilites are growing daily, my patients are well looked after and i am a diff person now, cancer and losing ju brought me to my knees ,i saw no way out but i have proved thats not the case ,
Do not get me wrong i will always love ju, he is forever in my heart and in our children everyday i see part of him in them, and i can now smile when i see that instead of crying,
I have as some of you know met a lovely man ,we are taking things as they come , he treats me so well, spoils me rotten ,my house looks like a florist ,luckily my kids help eat all the chocs he buys or id be huge by now ,he is patient and kind and gentle ,just as ju was , and im very happy i have a permanent smile on my face, so why am i feeling so guitly ? well i wasnt till today , friends reaction has been great, except for the odd few who think its wrong, but i dealt with them very publicly and im glad i did , my kids have met rob and like him very much ,so much so they spent the whole evening being a pain in the bum winding us both up ! and he must like them as has invited not just me out for dinner but them too , i think hes mad ,
I had a phone call from my sister in law earleir and i had planned to tell her but she started talking about ju,s one year anniversary on 10th march and i just couldnt tell her i felt so guilty ,most of you know my inlaws are from hell ! so why am i feeling bad ? ju desperatly wanted me to find love again and to be happy , ive now spent the morning in tears ,which is wrong i know that ,i deserve to be happy but i cant help it , thats why i thought blogging might help xx
