well after a nice few days i came to earth with a bump,, maybe it was the stress of going back to work ,i dont know , but someone said something last night that just set me off ,they didnt mean to but when your grieving you easily take things the wrong way, so lots of tears, 1 hrs sleep not good with busy shift to do ,but was ok but tired and then our occupational therapist ar work popped into see me ,she was part of mac team looking after julian too, she wanted to see how i was ,how embarassing the tears just wouldnt stop, but she was lovely ,we had a long chat, shes been in contact with my counsellor all along as all part of same team, and ive earnt myself a reputation apparantly as super woman !!!!! i laughed and said i dont feel it, she then continued to remind me off all ive had to contend with,not just caring ,loving and losing ju, full time work in a very stressful job , 3 amazingly well adjusted children considering , now going back to work in same stressful job and then she said id forgotten some thing me !!! and she hoped i wasnt going to take any more hours ect as feels im not ready , and her parting words were life is shit , youve done an amzazing job and please dont forget to be a bit gentler on yourself , you may pretend to be superwoman but deep down your grieving ,,,
so after half a box of tissues and some welcome hugs ,, im still feeling very sad ,,but i think shes right ,
