Not sure what to put really, only second time i'll have done this.
My husband got the all clear from his stage 3 melanoma at the end of April and we were so happy, but the last few weeks he hasn't been feeling well, low blood pressure, very dizzy all the time and headaches and at times not able to do anything other than lay on the sofa, which can last for a few days. He got in touch with his CNS who made him an appt with his oncologist. They're sending him for a CT Scan which is next Tuesday (30th) and we get the results the following day. I'm so scared, I try to talk to friends but they don't know what we're going through and i don't want them to get fed up of listening to me going on. I thought we had lots of friends but it's surprised me that some don't get in touch and the invites out and to friends houses or camping have been virtually non-existent since Shaun was first diagnosed in December 08.
Don't take friends not getting in touch personally - everyone who has been through this horrible journey have the same two major moans: (1) I can't stand the waiting (for results, appointments, scans) and (2) Where are all my friends? As well-meaning as some friends may start off being, unless they have been through the cancer experience they don't understand and may well put their feet (foot) in it! Feel free to moan on here - we know, we understand.
please do not feel you are the only one. My family and most of my friends have totally ignored me since they found out i had cancer. When i was first diagnosied they attitude was well good bye because your going to die anyway. Regardless of treatment even after my operation in November i did not hear from them. As for the waiting for results this drives us all mad. The waiting is the worse so we all know exactley how you feel.As kate said feel free to have a moan becuase we all understand.
I echo Kate's sentiments, but it doesn't make it any easier, does it? Why don't people understand that we need support at times like this and not for our friends to keep a respectful distance? I'm so sorry that your joy at Unkysheep receiving the all clear in April was cut short so suddenly, and I will keep everything crossed that the CT shows nothing too bad.
So sorry to hear about your hubby and hope all goes well with him.
I know what you mean about friends, in fact i think there was a few posts on this some time ago. One thing cancer does is make you a stronger person! whether that be the patient or carer-i mean if you can cope with this you can cope with anything thrown at you? People who have never had to cope with anything in their lives usually find it difficult to show emotion-shallow! I guess you have to feel sorry for em really. We have certainly found out who our friends are but bugger em we dont need em.
Just concentrate on being there for each other-thats all you need.
Isn't it sad that so many of us are replying with the same comments, that friends we have had all our lives have suddenly deserted us in our time of need. This was one of the things that sparked me into joining this site. People would say to me 'how is ian today?' and if I answered not very well they would immediately make excuses to go somewhere, and thats the ones that bother to ask at all! But you know there are some very genuine people around and most of them are on this site. We are all going through similar situations and we all understand.
