Woke up as usual at 7 but surprised myself by falling asleep until 9.30 ..a first for me ..dont think i sleep enough as never nap during the day and by night time i am so emotional and end up in floods of tears worrying about how i am going to cope with my RT and how i miss my husband and wish he was there to give me a hug ...I feel i wake up and it starts all over again ..This morning i got ready and went to postoffice just across the road from me then went to see my two youngest grandsons who were being looked after by there other gran while my daughter is at work ...I love them so much and all i could think about then and now that its a job i would /should be doing ..i love looking after them and now i feel everything has changed feel its going to be a day full of tears wish i could pull something out of the bag to make it ok to make it feel normal ...How do you all cope with this do you feel like i do that i am living inthis cancer bubble and there is no escape and that it wont ever be the same again ..I just find it so hard to deal with I try but end up back in the same place ..just want to know if its only me who feels this way or does everyone but you just deal with it better than i am dealing with it ..
Love and hugs
Jan x
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