If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again

It’s been a week since my appointment with my oncologist. There has been a lot to take and trying to do it with the world’s worst cold ever has been a struggle. So I spent most of the time in bed. Long story short the meeting was a bit of a shit show. The hell of my FEC-T chemo didn’t work and now I’m told it’s more likely than not that my cancer will come back within 12 months. And basically, there’s not much that can be done if it does. There is other chemo that I can have to try and help but I’m not going to get rid of the fucker. I’m going to be a chemo lifer.

I’ve got 2 weeks today before I start my next 6 cycles of chemo. I’m doing tablet form this time with a high dose of Capecitabine on a 3 week cycle. Taking tablets for two weeks and having one off. Alongside this, I’m having 3 weeks of daily Radiotherapy. I don’t have any dates or anything on this yet. All of that took a week to digest before I could be writing it all down. I guess that this is now just the norm rather than the exception of chemotherapy cycles and MRI scans. I was given a list of things to watch out for that could be a sign of secondary cancer. Lungs, bowel, liver and would you believe it, my mastectomy scar. After going through getting my tit removed, and being told to get the other one removed, that doesn’t actually stop the cancer coming back there. This was obviously new information.

In other news, I had to shave my legs today. That is one downside of the chemo effects wearing off. Although I know that a lot of people will be buzzing. I told 3 people about my appointment. The first thing all of them asked was will my hair grow back. Because fighting for my life will be easier if I have a good blowdry? I can’t cope with people’s priority’s, so I’ve stopped telling people I had my appointment.

Glad I got that off my chest. I now have 2 full weeks of freedom and my 36th birthday to celebrate before all of the appointments and treatments and sickness starts again. I’ve got this. 

Anonymous