Well firstly hello to all out there that take the time to read this.
Got to say in the past 2 weeks I have been spending alot of time looking at things on the internet in the hope of finding information and answers - what have I learned well firstly there is alot out there, it doesn't often reassure you, but knowledge is power. Oh and to take the time to absorb and get over the initial shock coz that is the real kicker!!!
2 weeks ago we got the bombshell that mum wasn't suffering from a severe chest infection. For me this came out of the blue. Mainly because she is so good at putting a brave face on things and doesn't like to complain or bother doctors with silly little aches and pains. For that I could throttle her. I am aware that diagnosis for lung cancer often goes undetected for a long time but she has admitted since the diagnosis that she has known for some months (at least 6) that it was quite serious.
Why did she delay with medical help if you ask her it was because she felt embarrased that even though she knew all was not well she was still smoking, I think it goes deeper fear and worry for those around her stopped her getting help too.
Those first few days after the tests awaiting the results were hard, harder still was having to keep it a secret from dad and the rest of the family till we got the results from the biopsies and scans. But today we have answers :- primary lung stage 4 nodes stage 2 and mets stage two sounds technical but here's where all that internet research helped me to understand any cancer that goes elsewhere in the body is automatically a stage 4 and although it has spread it is still basically the same as the primary cancer so they will treat for that and it should in theory help with the other areas. She is going to be starting chemo soon so fingers crossed she reacts well to it.
I have also learnt that although cancer really sucks and is hard for all concerned the more you stress about it takes away some of the strength you need to fight it (and not just for the one who has the cancer) - doesn't mean that It I don't have those times or days when the fear leaves me feeling sick to my stomach or sobbing as quietly as I can in a corner hoping no one hears me but thats when I figuratively give myself a kick up the backside and remind myself that every day is precious and I don't want to waste a single minute of it... if only I had realised all this before without it having to take a disease to teach me this lesson.
So for all of you out there whether you have cancer or have a family member or friend who is fighting this awful disease just remember none of us are alone and there is always someone here willing to lend an ear or shoulder when it's needed.
So thank you all xxxx
