I feel so bloody useless. I live 30 miles away from my mum and dad, have a busy job that requires me to be on top of my game otherwise I put lifes at risk and I feel I cannot do enough to help. I love my mum so much and want to spend every minute of every day with her but it is just not possible but I feel bad about it. My sister is always there at the right time helping out and being all practical and I am not. When I get to visit I am always jolly and make her laugh and that makes me happy but I am sure I should be doing more. I get tearful at the drop of a hat because I do not know how I will cope without having her in my life, she is always there on the sidelines waiting to help me out should I need it, emotionally, financially, with sound advice, I have always needed my mum and I will still need her and she won't be around. I have no idea how long she is expected to be around for as she has told the doctors that she does not want to know. I understand her reasons but I am petrified that I will not have done enough or spent enough time with her to make up for all the years that I am not going to have her around anymore. I want to cram it all in but physically can't.
