My mum has had 3 rounds of chemo and the consultant as decided that it is making no difference and have stopped any further chemo.
It was a shock as my dad, who would not let anyone go with him and my mum to see the consultant, had said that after the 1st chemo the saw the consultant and he said the x-ray showed a small shrinkage. After the 2nd lot the x-ray showed about a half shrinkage. My dad had got me all excited and I had thought that this was all good news and that my mum, even though we know the cancer is also in he lymphs and esophigus, would have a few more years if they had managed to shrink it so much. I think my dad's enthusiasm has confused me so much. Now they have stopped all treatment and arranged for 02 at home because she is waking up at about 5ish with difficulty breathing. They have said up the oramorph and take it every two hours.
I am now thinking she is on her way and am petrified. I had allowed my dad's postive thinking cloud the reality of it all and I feel in as much shock as I had at the beginning.
I am now battling emotionally wih fear and heartache and panicing that time is going to run out faster than I think as no one in my family wants to know what the time frame is. I would like to know but I know what I want is not what is important but I am a person that needs to prepare myself otherwise I crack up. I have always been he rock with my siblings eventhough I am the youngest, they turn to me for practical things, answers and the ability to rationalise and for some reason they think I have al the answers so that is why I like to be prepared so I can be ready for them when they need me.
FormerMember
hello, I'm sorry to hear they are to stop chemo for your mum.
i understand what you mean about taking al the positive, and reality being 'clouded' - i was led to believe my sister had a low grade brain tumour, but then found out it was worse than id been told. I'd come to grips with the first bad news - low grade, so i too was shocked when it wasn't all i thought it was, and things were worse than id known. Also my parents have refused to be told a 'prognosis' yet my own research has told me a little about her disease in general, so I know where we are a bit. I too would like to know more about taht tho... but i guess i wont know unless they ask now.
i hope you are also being supported, you may need to be strong for your family - but we are all human and all need suport too,... don't forget yourself too!
im sorry to hear they have stopped your mums treatment and hope she is getting enough pain relief, take care, and as been said previously, you need support too,
To be told treatment is being stopped on someone wel love is news we all dread to hear, so I completely understand how you are feeling. For your father to be so positive is what we all try to be even thought sometimes it is now how we feel inside, but it is what keeps us all gioing we are forever saying on this site "stay positive" because if we don't what else is there??
All you can do is make every day special with your mother and live each day like it's her last, enjoy time with her and make as many memories as you can together.
