you know who's there and who's not when you need them the most x

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

21 Feb 2011

my family and a few friends have been very supportive since september last year,theres been a few ppl who havnt been the best support and i feel that ive lost some of the best support i could possibly have,the only one true person who i thought i could rely on,he never really understood the "ins" and "outs" of what was really going on,started to say ive become boring...a shadow of myself....down and gloomy...what the hell am i meant to do ...get the party poppers out and balloons and shout yippeeee!!!,ive realised that before i can become strong and be positive about this i need to come to terms with it first...has anyone lost the person you loved through this????

wednesday 9th feb: im feeling a little bit better now ive got used to this site been chatting to a few ppl and i feel i little bit more positive about my forthcoming treatment,...all i need now is the most important person in my life (apart from my children) to wake up and realise whats going on and start supporting me the way he should do instead if changing the subject everytime it arises :( xx

monday 21st feburary: things have somewhat gone a little down since i last blogged,my friends list is slowly going down the pan,as for my partner,well the support there is wearing a little thin,he's there but isnt metaphorically speaking,im not sure what to do anymore i feel that im losing this battle and my main support isnt as supportive anymore.

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Oh I'm sorry this has happened. I found that I lost a lot of friends (and a bf) but realise now, despite it being so difficult, that the ones I have left are gold.

Just remember, it's not you who has the problem, it's definetly them. But it hurts and I'm sorry.lx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

hi marie,

sorry to hear that you arent getting the support you need from the ones you most expected to support you. i will say you are not alone.

lots of us on this site have been where you are now, loosing friends, and partners.

im one of them.

i lost two of my bestest friends when i got diagnosed because they didnt know how to cope with it, didnt know how to react, so the best way of them coping was to shut it out, to ignore it, because then the problem to them wasnt there. as pin says, the friends and family you have left to support you now are gold.

my boyfriend and me were together almost 4 years, we got through the treatment together, and came out the other side, but.. i wasnt the same me when i got through treatment, i was tired, moody, miserable, but at the same time, i was more independant and stronger, and he found it hard to cope with, because i had changed. we are both young, both 21, i was 19 when i was diagnosed with my cancer. so we split up recently.

the only thing i can say to you, is, be completely honest and open. tell them why you are feeling down, and gloomy. it may be that its not obvious to them, if your anything like me, i bottled it all up inside, didnt tell anyone close to me how i was feeling, so that i didnt hurt them, so they didnt understand if i was sat sulking or was in a mood or if i did snap at them.

dealing with cancer is hard, but dealing with cancer and other problems is even harder. youve got to think of you.

but remember, your not on your own.. consider everyone on here ur extended family, we all understand.

emz xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi

it is sad to realise those you care about can not cope but such people would only bring you down when you need to be strong so hard as it is let them go.

The ones who you can rely on will be there to pick you up and see you through this

take care of yourself.

sandra
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hello, people we thought we could rely on can change.It's a true fact of life that can be so hard to deal with but listen, do not dwell on it,learn to blow it all away. Concentrate on yourself as 'your' well being is the most important factor in your life right now. As has been said above, you will get loads of support and encouragement right here on this site!!

Big hugs, Alison.x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Marie,

You wont get much better advice than that from the ladies above. We are one big Family here in Macland,and if you want to talk,scream or shout there is always someone here to listen. So you are never alone. If they no longer want to be your friends thats their problem not yours. Welcome to the site.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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