My biggest fear, so far.

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

28 Oct 2010

The oldest and strongest emotion for the human race is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear - is a fear of the unknown.

It's this waiting that's doing me in, for me it seems worse that my original diagnosis. I start my second course of chemo Today, in three weeks time it should all be over. Then it's another CT scan to see if it's worked. If it has and if all the previous reports are successful, then it's into hospital within a few weeks for them to do an Ivor Lewis procedure, or whatever they need to. If it hasn't and there's a reason I might not be suitable for the op, it's gonna be radio therapy instead. So far, it all looks good but the final decision will be down to the surgeon and his anesthetist.

If only we had a crystal ball and could see into the future.

KateG over 14 years ago

Sorry John, but the 'waiting' is the biggest concern for patients. You wait for tests, then you wait for results... and then you wait for treatment, then, finally you wait to find out if the treatment has been successful. You have to tune yourself out and concentrate on nice things!

Best wishes,

KateG
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

I agree, it's the waiting and not knowing that gets to me, even worse, thinking that someone somewhere already knows something about me, which I dont....

My advice, a stong gin and tonic works for me!!
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

John,

I know what you mean. My first 4 sessions of chemo didn't work for me, the scan showed that the nodules had grown a couple of centimetres. I started a new treatment on 5th Oct, had second on 26th and another due 16th Nov, then they will scan me again during w/c 22nd Nov. I've just got to keep positive and hope that this one does the trick. The trouble is you get paranoid and start looking for lumps elsewhere. Mine started in my leg, had surgery then found it in my chest.

I'm house bound at the mo don't feel confident to go out alone on crutches, family are great but you feel you cant put anymore pressure on them.

Take care

Sue
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi John,

Rebecca, has the right idea,the waiting not knowing.

Try and I know its easier said than done. Get that

Gin and Tonic down your neck. The only thing about that is when you wake up the worry is still there. All the best.

Take care and be safe Sarsfield.
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi John I am sorry that the waiting is getting to you.

Try telling yourself that worrying will not change the outcome it will just make you more ill.

Qui Sera Sera what will be will be and there is absolutely nothing you can do about to change things. What you can do is make sure that you are fit and well to deal with whatever this terrible decease throws at you.

Take it from me as someone who has faced cancer twice in 4 years, both as a wife and then myself.

My husband and I knew for 4 years that he was going to die.

We became experts at carrying on with our lives and making lots of wonderful memories that now help me through life without him.

That experience helped me through my own cancer. I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do about, but I could try to stay well enough both menatally and physically to help me fight it.

Take Care John. Love Julie X
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