It was my last day at work before xmas. Things were chugging a long nicely when I got the call.............dad is very poorly dr has advised family are contacted.
My blood ran cold, then I went on to auto pilot, sorting things out getting cover at work, sorting out childcare. I was panicking that i wouldn't get to him on time. Bless him he's not giving in. He's been asleep all day but just after 10 tonight he started to come round. I fed him some soup and gave him some water. I haven't been his carer, so it was hard at first but we soon got into the swing of it and I even managed to get a couple of smiles out of him! He barely opened his eyes but he was talking. I don't know if it was just the meds he had this morning that knocked him out or if this is just one of those little peaks, but I'm glad we're getting this time.
It was so hard to see him like that when I first arrived (he is at home now, which is what he wanted). I did break down but I pulled myself together and even managed to keep my promise to my daughter and took her out for tea. I felt guilty - like I shouldn't have been there, but I'd promised her, we were both hungry and dad was sleeping anyway - guess no matter how much I try to rationalise it I can't help how I feel.
Everything else is kind of being put on hold for a while, but with xmas just a week away I need to do things. I can't cancel christmas, my daughter is only 2 and a half, she doesn't understand and is so excited this year. I think that will help me get through this difficult time. I am just worried now about how I will feel when the hype is all over, never have been good with post xmas blues!!!
Anyway, thats where we are at at the moment. i have come home to sleep and the marie curie night nurse is with dad til the morning, so at least I know some one is keeping an eye on him. Will be back there tomorrow morning to see how he's doing...............
