I got another call at 6.05 this morning. I went straight round to dad's. The whole of my insides were shaking. I knew this was it. He was still breathing when I arrived. I said hello to him and held his hand but I don't think he was consious that I was there. I just hope he knew he wasn't alone!
After feeding him last night and getting a smile and a kiss from him, I could see today that dad's spirit had gone. He was moaning as he breathed but I honestly feel that was just his body shutting down. My dad was already gone.
He died at 9.40 this morning. I was holding his hand ad sitting on the edge of his bed. All of a sudden I noticed his ears were pale (weird thing to notice!) then he began missing a breath until a few moments later he took his last. I was devestated and hugged him and kissed him and told him that he was loved. I got upset as I walked away from his bed when the dr arrived and again when the undertaker arrived. But even so I seem to be holding it together.
I'm not sure if I am coping, or if I am just numb. But I am glad he is not having to fight this horrible disease anymore and that he can rest in peace. And I hope where ever he is, he's happy. Love you dad, now and for always. xxx
