. I am the granddaughter of an astounding woman a woman who raised me when things were hard and helped me become who i am today. For a few weeks now i have been caring for this lady who means the world to me being very ill an in discomfort. It began 5 weeks ago when she complained of pain around her pelvis she assumed she was having a ruff few days of her old friend Arthur ( arthritis ). But after a week the pain wasn't easing so we went to the doctors and a scan was arranged and stronger pain relief provided. We were made aware that she had a cyst that they were going to look at treating the cyst seemed to pose no further danger than the discomfort but they said they would do tests just incase. Sadly my nan became increasingly weaker and unable to manage much food or drink all of which came to head on saturday just gone when she got rushed to hospital. After several tests we found she had a irregular heartbeat possibly brought on by a mild heart attack. As well as signs of fluid on her lungs an a decreased level of oxygen in her blood This came as a huge shock but further tests were ordered. So we went to the hospital to visit her and to have a talk with the doctor about her results. It was then our fears came true after being told they had the results and were dealt the devastating news that my nan has a 25cm tumour on her ovary that they have found to be cancerous and that although there are potential avenues to go down the doctors advise us that after discussing it with her as she has fluid throughout her lungs an abdomen as well as losing so much weight through her struggle to take in food with the pain she is simply too weak to handle them and they would merely cause her more distress than aid her as they feel the cancer has progressed to far this entire whirlwind took place over 4-5 weeks from her getting ill to us being told we can no longer do anything to save her. I have cried till it hurts and then cried again and i know some people will wonder why i have blogged this but for me this is like my diary of things i feel i need to say out loud i am scared upset and trying my hardest to be strong but i wanted to share my familys story of just how devastatingly fast our lives have been turned upside down as over the next few days/week/months we are having my nan come home so for however long we have left with her she can be comfortable at home with her family around her it is her last wish a wish i never expected to hear so soon and i will stand by it. Today was her first full day at home I went to help my aunt as its all I can do. So I went bathed her dressed her fed her an ensured she was having her pain medication anything i can to make her life that little bit easier an i will continue to do it everyday she is here with us we do have support but my nan has asked them for the time being at least to let us do all that we can. I don't know what i'm going to face all i have been told is it will be hard an heartbreaking and awful but i have to be strong an be there for her no matter how hard it gets its my turn to be the strong one for her and let her lean on me for anything i can do. But it doesn't stop me coming away from my aunts with tears in my eyes that i can't do more or take this cancer away an that is what is crushing me every second of the day.
