I don't know why I should feel compelled to put it in writing maybe its because if I say everything thats in my head to one person its overload and i will go under. Its hard [as i am sure everyone knows] to really let go when i have days where everything seems black. i have a good family and fantastic mates but there is only so much they can understand and sympathise with. iread on someones blog about being in a dark place I suppose only those who have faced this truly knows what it means. I just feel I have to put that down . I will be going for a bone scan and a ct scan tomorrow cos i have 4 lymph nodes involved apparently if it was only 3 i would not have a scan 4 is the cut off point,i know the line has to be somewhere but it doesn't stop the worry then if everything checks out i will start chemo on thurs i felt i had to unload before i go to bed on a large g&t as it might be the last one i have for a while.
FormerMember
Welcome to the club that no one wants to join! There are lots of super people on this site who can listen, offer support and help because we are all inthe same boat so write away. Sometimes it is easier to type things onto a computer screen than worry family and friends and I have found that by doing just that it takes the edge off the worry. I get my CT scan results on Tuesday when I should have my third chemo session so I have fingers and toes crossed that nothing is found. I hope all goes well with you and shall be thinking of you on Thursday
Welcome Horsewoman, I hope you slept well after the G&T!
Good luck for today, will be thinking of you. This is the best place to come to, whatever your feelings. I know we have to measure how much we share with our loved ones but here you can really let it all out and everyone will be here to support you and listen.
I really hope your ct scan today goes well - will you get the results soon?? Do let us know.
Hey, if you don't fancy talking about the bad stuff, then I would love to hear about your horse(s) and dogs? You can always drop me a Private Message if you like?
This is a really nice site and I hope you will find some comfort with us - I've only been here a short while and I have found it fantastic.
no-one ever thinks they may join this club but the support and encouragement you 'll have here will help to keep you a bit stronger. The very best of luck and good vibes. lindaj
Hi Sweetheart - I read in your Profile that you sometimes get scared about what you find out on the internet and I know exactly how you feel. When I was first diagnosed, I drove myself NUTS by looking up statistics, survival rates etc etc, until one day my brain just screamed ENOUGH!! We can overload our wee brains, and our bodies with all these thoughts scrambling for prominence in our heads that are fit to burst! So, now I don't look any more - I listen to what my oncologist says, then I eat well, sleep well and live LIFE to the full - we are all ALIVE and that's enough for me at the moment. We all know about being in dark places, cos I think we've all been in them, but then there are the bright places, which lift us up and make us glad to be alive. Cancer is the most awful of diseases and all of us react and cope in different ways - but somehow we all seem to find our own wee place, where we find the calm instead of the storm and peace for our bodies and our overstretched brains. I do so wish you all the very best of luck on your journey sweetheart, but always remember - you are NOT alone, we're all here cheering you on. Your G & T days will return, have no fear! Hold on tight with lotsa love kate xxxxxxxxxx
