Well I was doing ok til from nowhere a black cloud descended on me fourth chemo due this thurs[last of the epi] and an appointment with the oncologist,I started to put together a list of questions i wanted to ask both him and the breast nurse regarding my prognosis as i realised no one has given me any facts and figures as to my sucess rate so i started looking up statistics on t'internet[big mistake!] so i have now dug myself a big black hole which i can't seem to get out of unfortunately my hubby was working away all weekend my daughter works abroad and my son was taken up with his new girlfriend[i didn't want to spoil things by moaning] so here i am offloading onto a keyboard hoping it helps i can't shake off the thought that even after all this it will come back ,sorry for whining had to get it out
Teresa
FormerMember
Hi Teresa
I think you've done what too many of us do - looked on the internet and scared ourselves witless. Don't look any more, and do just what you've planned - take your list of questions to your oncologist and nurse. Your illness is unique to you, and statistics are just numbers.
I go down into that black hole sometimes as well, but keep digging myself back out and telling myself to be positive, but I think we all have those fears of what the future might bring. Being alone is hard and gives you too much time to think (and look at the internet!), so try and distract yourself with the TV, reading a book etc. My ex left 3 years ago, and although I have a lovely partner now, he can't be here all the time, my daughter is at uni and my son lives in London.
Keep offloading onto the keyboard, it'll stop you googling!! And all the best with the chemo on Thursday.
They say that a lot of 1st year psychology students on reading up about various mental illnesses start to believe they are going bonkers. It is so easy to scare yourself! I know exactly where you're coming from as I've been trawling the Internet for information on another condition and it becomes addictive with one question leading to another and one site leading to another. When you have compiled your list of questions, put them away until you see the quack. In the meantime do a mind-bending puzzle or crossword. Or write your life story!
I am in full agreement with Annie. Give the internet a wide berth. When I got my diagnosis that was my first port of call - big mistake! The brain seems to have it's own highlighter pen and selectively highlights all the negative and doom/gloom.
Being alone doesn't help either, we can all tend to ruminate on the 'what if's'.
